Friday, May 22, 2009

It's such a pain, whenever i rethink about the past again, and im not gonna lie about it here.. In the other blog, i might be pretending to be alright and all, but the fact is, that's not totally true.. I mean, lets face it, it really is not easy to just let go everything at all, that is IF it is possible to forget everything.

At times, i thought of wanting to talk to you.. Just saying hi or something, but something within me decided against it. Everything you used to tell me now seems like it's just a lie..

You told me you're nt gonna be like Sue, disappear without any trace at all, so what are you exactly doing to me now then? Maybe i said this hundreth times alrd, but im still gonna say it, I'm disappointed on myself that I still cant forget you completely and i'm also disappointed at what you do to me.. I thought you're gonna be diff, you certainly proved me wrong..

Do you remember the Indonesian song i sent you? "Permintaan hati" Whenever i heard that song now, it really pain me a lot.. It really draw out our condition perfectly well now.. What seems to be so far back then, feels just so real now that i cant believe it's happening.. Sigh, when will this torment end?



Monday, May 11, 2009

Hmm, this post is just to say that, im moving my blog alrd.. This blog will be a closed blog and only can be visited by those that i invite.. I will close it within 2-3 days. Within this day, if u do visit this blog and wanted to be invited, please do tell me so. Else, there will be no more access to this blog..

~My past will be finally unviolated~



Friday, May 8, 2009

I guess this will be my last post here.. Why u ask? Coz i'll be changing my blog, that's why.. All thanks to missy ong aka shermin.. Well, the idea of changing is we agreed that we are going to leave our past behind and start something afresh together.. No no, not that kind of together.. just plain normal together -.- It's kinda good, coz i get new accompaniance to actually leave the whole thing behind. What to left behind u ask? Those stuffs like about mt? Those are the bad memories.. Or maybe i will dump all my sadness in this blog, whereas, anything good, it will be on my new blog, im nt sure yet, but i'll see how it goes.

Class was fun today. It's sales management, what u expect but fun? :D Not as exciting as last 2 weeks though.. I dont know why.. Maybe its just like what i told zakia, suddenly i just felt like i dont have any motivation to get excited anymore.. Speaking of zakia, she skipped school halfway today! Guess the reason? On 2nd thought, no, u wont be able to guess it. The ever-calmed-no-temper zakia, cant take her group nonsense and finally get pissed off!! Imagined that! I cant even imagine what her team mates do.. =x Tsk tsk, u guys = dead.. U dont know who u just messed with :D

I dont think im going to post any long msg or anything alrd here.. Nth much to talk abt anw.. Oh, and guess wad? This is my last post, cum the 90th post.. Nice eh? :D

I was suppose to start afresh alrd since long time ago, and i kept telling myself that i can make it again and again. But as you might have see, from times to times, i still get to recall stuffs abt us or you. I just really really hope that, by moving blog this time, everything will start really afresh.. I am determined to forget about u alrd this time..

Ps: i was listening to heavenly day by aragaki yui, and it kinda reminded me of us on the theater on the bay. That's like one of our song.. What goes through my mind when we listen to it initially on the past is "such a sad song.. I'm quite sure this kind of things wont happen to us" but apparently, i was wrong.. I would really like to share a line of the song that really touches me..

"..kaisatsuguchi de ienakatta iitakatta
“arigatou”tte kotoba wa tabun
“sayonara” yorimo kanashii kotoba ni omouno"

"I couldn’t say it by the ticket barrier, I wanted to say
That I feel “Thank you” are maybe words
much sadder than “goodbye”"

It indeed pains more for me to say thanks rather than say goodbye now.. But i think this got to end somewhere.. Maybe it's still hard for me, but i really will try my best to say goodbye.... Bye..



Thursday, May 7, 2009

Hmm, been a while since i post. Nothing much happened on Tue and Wed anw.. Except that i experience my 1st time skipping on tue. Well, it was marketing and i was sleepy. And not to mention Tiong tempt me.. Wad could i say? =x Met Shawn, Jon and his wife at the afternoon.. It was......FUN! Haha! they really can talk lots of crap.. Haha!

Wed is quite boring though. Went back to school to meet FYP advisor and do some of the stuffs that need to be done regarding FYP. Went back home after that alrd though. Was listening to radio and 987 FM actually throw this question to win a SE phone: "what is the meanest thing that u ever done to ur ex to get back to them?" And that actually make my mind race back to 1-2 months ago.. Mm, the planning and everything! haha!!

I know i deserve a slap, but recently, my emotion get a bit unstable again. It's like, my resolve starts to crumble bit by bit.. I begin to start to recall about events with her and all.. And everytime that happens, i'll just suddenly get quiet and just look away frm whatever i looking at.
It's quite sad actully....sad? wait, no, it's more like.......disappointment.. And nope, not to her, but rather, to myself. I mean, i told myself, not to recall abt it anymore and stuffs like that. But it's like my inner self will always try to "steal-a-peak" on the past whenever im nt aware. At times, i actuall thought "i wonder...when i was recalling back like this, will she recall back about our times also?" What you guys think? Well, what i think is no, she wont..if she's going to recall, wont it be her memories with her "latest" bf, and that will be ben isnt it? Kinda sad and pathetic, i know. I just really hope by blogging this down, it helps to cure a bit. It's still bugging me now, but i do hope after a good night rest, i can go to school with a skip in my step again.



Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Juz woke up from nap, and realize it's almost the deadline of rj.. Quickly rush through it and complete it.. I honestly despise the Business Process Modelling.. Freaking faci..

Anw, class today's much better than 2 weeks ago.. Ice is thinner, words are thrown around easier.. Thinner ice doesnt mean no ice yet though.. I hope everything will be fine next week

Didnt get to talk much to Kristy today.. Guess she's busy with her work today? Well, perhaps later i'll text her or something

On the other hand, i was texting Cherry on the afternoon and fall asleep halfway through.. Woke up only to find 3 msgs from her worrying.. Meh, im sorry.. =x

Ok, i loving this style. Short and to the point of what i want to record.. Oh shit, am i getting lazy to blog? Ah well, i'll do what i want to do..



Sunday, May 3, 2009

Hmm, not going to be a long post.. Boring day, not going out, nuff said..

Helping Kristy with her PE project.. Tsk, secondary school project really does seems simple enuff alrd when u are facing with 3 years of continuos PBL.. I mean, last time we also have project and i still remember, it took us almost 1 month to finish 1 freaking simple project.. Kinda remind me of my past.

Cherry had tuition spree today. Preparation for MYE seems like getting tighter and tighter for sec kid eh? Well, all the best for ur exam! ;)

School reopen 2mr again, after such a long weekend.. Mixed feeling.. I mean, i DO miss school, but i feel a bit lazy to go to the class.. Doesnt matter, gotta face the fear.. No sense of running ard anw..

Life's pretty flat for me.. What i thought i want turns out to be what i dont really want.. Not really complaining though, for i have told myself that im taking a break.. Seems like even life agree with me.. No matter, friends will still be there, they will make the life more.....unplain :D

Guess that's all for nw, gonna go back to the ppt and rest for 2mr alrd.. Nights people



Saturday, May 2, 2009

Okay, im nt gonna post a long post now, coz im freaking tired!! ARGH!! Excited and all though.. :D

So, lets recap what happened today then.....................Ok, cant remember anything BUT the arrow service! :D

Met up with caregroup at ard 3.30pm at mac donald.. It was only Derek, Victor and Shawn though.. No, not the Shawn, but the CG Shawn.. So, yeah, we sat around and chat for around 1 hour before we head down to ROCK.. It's quite amazing that we can chat a lot actually, for the fact that last time i wont be able to mix with them.. Haha! Security is tight for the day, for they really take all precautions against swine flu.. Ah well, He will protect us all..

It was an all-praise-and-worship session today! So, nw u guys understand why i said i'm tired? :D Songs were awesome, peoples are awesome too, in short, everything is juz plainly awesome! :D Enjoy today's service to the max ;)

Went for dinner with CG.. It was an awesome fellowshipping session.. Shared with Christon, Victor and Jonathan abt wad happen to me recently.. I mean, what's the harm? It doesnt even concern me anymore -.- Derek came over after that and ask us to greet new guy called.....shit, wad's his name again? ANDREW!! YEAH YEAH!! HIS NAME'S ANDREW!! Well, initially i thought i was going to just say hi and that's all, but who knows? I ends up crapping with him and telling him jokes and all.. Aww, CG is just a bunch of fun people :D

Ok, like i say, i wont be dragging this anymore.. Me going to sign off here and me going to sleep alrd nw :D Nights guys!! :D



Friday, May 1, 2009

HELLO!! haha!! Damn, havent been blogging for these 2 days -.- Well, nothing much happen today, so i'll juz blog abt ytd then.

Ytd was fun.. I mean, it's sales management class and i really do enjoy it.. The peoples are fun, and they jokes a lot too.. Lemme share with you something funny about ytd then.. It actually started out in my team.. I was playing RC and i need eggs for my recipe.. So i ask a friend of mine, Joan, whether she have eggs or not.. This conversation was being overheard by another teammate of mine, clef and she ask "um, restaurant city?" Ends up, she also playing, and we exchange email to add in facebook and all.. This madness didnt stop here, for actually another guy in my team is playing also.. So, our whole team does nothing else except playing RC in 1st meeting..

Now now, so there is this girl, called Shermin in my class.. She's fun and she always seem to have "issue" with me.. There's always something for us to quarell about.. Not sure why though.. Haha!! Well, anw, i was curious, so i asked her "hey! u got play RC?" and instead of replying me, she juz show me her laptop screen and in there, it was RC.. No more question ask except "what's ur email??" and that's how we exchange email.. LOL! Well, not only her only actually.. The next amazing thing is, i actually juz asked the whole class "WHO IS PLAYING RC HERE IN THIS CLASS??" and guess what? quite a lot of ppl playing too!! And that's how my thur class bonds :D hahahaha! Awesome or wot? (and shermine is still as stingy as ever.. Die die dont want give me the egg >:( Boo! Haha! )

I think ytd itself, we influenced and bring ard 3-4 people to the world of culinary and management in RC alrd.. Haha! This is the power of marketing and sales person =x Haha!

Well, i slept in for today anw.. And i dreamt lots of stuff for that period of time.. I even dreamt abt her.. It's such a vivid and almost like real dream.. I mean, it's like i almost be able to feel her touch, feel her breath and.....well, my point is it seems so real.. Well, of course, as i was typing this, i cant remember it so much anymore.. But it really does seems so real, till this point of dream (which i can really remember clearly), that i told myself in "neahz, this cant be! this confirm is just a dream!" and on that instant, it's like as if everthing is dispelled from me.. Her touch become blur, her face starts to get transparent, and when i woke up, i thought i will start missing her.. I dont know how i should feel though, when i woke up, for i didnt even miss her slightest bit anymore.. I really dont know whether i should feel happy, or just being plain sad.. Either way, my life goes on once more..