Thursday, January 31, 2008

Wee... How long ago since I blog alrd.. Haha.. Anyway, seems like whenever i blog, it will only be problems huh? So, here goes..

Humans... they always like to jump to conclusion and make assumptions, but in the process they never really look on what are they doing currently.. I think this is wad really happen between me and dear currently.. I know she want to talk to me and stuff, but I also need sometime for myself rite? I mean, look, when I have time, she are busy with her project and stuff, leaving me behind bored to the core, seeking companions to chat to and stuff like that, but she is not there, is she? That is why I am back to my gaming world.. But once I enjoy it, her project start to finish up and she start complaining abt me not accompanying her.. But isnt this is how we have been all along, only with her not noticing with all her projects? So i merely act like how i act usually, and now she told me it's wrong since she is free? What if she have another trains of projects? I need survive alone again? What is this become? Survival game?

Anyway, approaching the end of sch soon alrd.. 1 more day to go, and no more school.. I am not sure whether I should feel sad or happy with this fact.. Sometimes, when I say out the words goodbye to the facis, it's like, somewhere deep down, I know this is like the last time that I will be seeing them alrd, there will be no more "see you next week" and stuff like that.. This semester facis really are a nice batch of facis that we can have.. All of them teach in a very enjoyable way.. My only regret is to skip classes back then.. Better make sure I didnt skip classes next year..

Ah well, i guess this should be all.. I am going back to Indo soon, so maybe I cant blog for sometime if I didnt manage to get net connection in Indo.. Happy CNY to u guys, ya? :D (I noe it's nt yet, but hell, what if i cant tell u guys on the day itself? -.-)



Friday, January 25, 2008

Honestly, I have this feeling of uncertainty within myself.. It is as if, my pass is pulling me back..
I dunno how it can happen, but, it seems like, recently, it's juz a lot of things happen that keep reminding me of the pass.. Yeah, by saying the pass i actually mean Sue..

Okok, i know, dun need to remind me, me and her are just friends nw.. But what makes me feel all these feelings then? Is it really that i still have feeling with her? Impossible rite? I was so firm on my decision to leave her already, so firm that i can start to erase her out of my life already, slowly dissolving my feelings towards her.. But why? Why after that night after we talk, she began to appear in my mind again? I only want to cut our bonds by talking for the last time, but why now instead of cutting the bonds, ends up clinging on me instead? Maybe talking to her is a bad move after all?

God, hear my prayer, I know that i cant do this alone, God, i really need You to help me up.. Whenever I try to do something, i know i will not be able to do it right just by myself.. If it is without Your help, i know i cant achieve anything, God.. Please, lead me out of this problem.. I have faith in You, God.. I know you will help me this time.. Please..



Thursday, January 17, 2008

Ytd talked to Sue.. Actually wanna blog it down already, but decided to hit the sack instead of arguing with dear after she hear me talking to Sue..

Yeah, we cleared out things alrd, and I'm nw officially nt two timing or wadever already.. I realize i'm quite a fool to believe her and gave her the maple passwords that I changed, but, heck, i dun really need it anyway, so let her juz have it and do to it wadever she want then.. With or without her, my life will still goes on anyway.. But it sure is nice to be able to talk to her again, we chatted for almost 1 hour or more.. As i talked to her, somehow, i can recollect bits and pieces of memories with her.. Apparently, she is now in Australia also already.. Well, she told me that she'll kept in touch with me, but, of course, i doubt that will be happen.. Even though she say she will be online in skype, but somehow, i think this will be the last time our path will cross again.. Kinda sad, i noe, but well, that is how life goes.. Some people juz cross over your life, and then leave and gone without traces.. Some will stay and live with u there though, for example, dear.. :D

Well, for today, nth much actually happen, except for dear will come hme late again later.. Seems like she is getting busier and busier nowadays.. Guess i'll juz entertain myself by playing game as i wait for her to come back.. K then, this should be all..

Signing Out
Shiroi Oogami



Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Haha.. It's amazing that i still can laugh at this kind of moment.. As i'm typing nw, dear are suggesting for break up.. So laughing is kinda retarded action huh?

Why u ask? I have no slight idea.. Moments ago, it is only some discussion abt "Why you never say this words to me?" and somehow it leads all the way to here.. Ok, sure, i am not the super good type of bf, but i am learning arent i?? I am really tired with all these bombardment of problem, honest.. Seems like nowadays everytime me and dear talk, it will only be about problem this and problem that.. I tried to end the problem throwing, but ends up making things a bit worse nia.. Not that as if the things is not bad alrd though.. Is love life really that tough to manage?

I really miss the old Jac that is much stronger, much independent, much reliable and etc etc
I miss the time where we are arguing on who miss who and keep arguing, the time where she try to attract attention, time where we spend time chatting, teasing each other and stuff like that.. Time where we still talk much.. Times where we are still close to each other

As i type this out, i dun really noe wad is actually going on in my head also.. I juz noe sumthing, if we are going to carry on like this, and still expecting to be in relationship, i must admit that it will be a bit impossible.. That is why exactly, i'm trying my best to solve the problem up.. But then again, like what people say, to clap a hand, u need 2 hands.. Am i the one that not cooperating? or the other way round? Of that, i dun want to give any judgment..

I juz hope that everything will turn out to be normal again.. I noe, it's like asking for moon to appear at day time (i'm not talking abt eclipse, u faggot), but i still do believe in miracle.. I juz hope that miracle help me once again this time..



Sunday, January 13, 2008

Wow, how long ago alrd since i last blog? haha.. Coz really nth to blog abt anw..

Things getting more and more bitter nowadays.. I swear, if this is really going to be over, i really will take some break alrd.. Juz wanna live on how i live my life previously..

Suppose to get a hard drive (the external one) today, but didnt manage to go to sim lim coz my fren got a headache.. Lol, maybe God hear my prayer and decided to let me have some more time to consider whether to get a hard drive using the money or to juz get various IT items.. Any suggestion?

Hmm.. I guess this should be all for this time ba.. I'll try to blog more often after this.. Sry to abandon u, chronicle..



Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Lol, sry for not blogging for sometime (juz who am i saying sry to actually? -.-)

It have been sometime since i blog now huh? Yeah, coz i start to get bored of keep telling the same things of what i do everyday.. I mean, wad's so special about "waking up, go sch, do some prob, come back, play, sleep" activity? Haha..

Sigh, things have not really gone to well for me huh, i guess.. The bad flu and cough really irritates hell out of me.. Now with the sore throats.. AARRGGHH!!! Juz hope it can recover soon.. Not only that, nowadays me and dear also didnt talk much alrd.. Is it really true? that the fact is she is too busy and i am too free that's y i feel this way? No idea also.. Now to think abt it, it have been sometime since we went out together also.. -.- but well, doesnt matter.. I'll juz let nature take it's own course.. Hope things will get better between us huh? Health prob, romance life prob, u think that's all? NOOOO!! FINANCE PROB!! WHY THE HECK IS EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE NOWADAYS SO EXPENSIVE ONE?!?!? Grr.. Juz hope that i can find some cheap but good and high cap one on Sim Lim this weekend.. O_o, u think that i'm complaining abt not going out with dear while she is going with me this weekend? Noo!! Lol, she will most probably be too busy with her projects.. Juz y the heck poly burden students so much nowadays? -.- Lol..

Oh ya, abt the pics to japan one.. Sigh, i dun think i will upload it here afterall.. Too many things and too ma fan.. -.- If u wanna see, juz tell me lah, i'll keep it in my com one..

Well, guess this will be all then.. Oh ya, since i told u that i will not recorded like insane, so... I will only record things when it is important.. Chronicle of Life, do ur job well hor! Keep all these fragments well! Domo arigatou..



Sunday, January 6, 2008

Ah, 2 days since i last blog huh? Lol, dun worry lah, nth much happen anw..

Hmm, ytd was really fun, went to watch I Am Legend.. Nice movie, nice story line also though.. Actually by watching movie, i am killing myself.. I am having bad cough alrd, and yet i still go to watch movie.. This is basically because when i watch movie, i confirm will buy the popcorn combo one which consist of one popcorn and cold drinks.. Lemme do the math for u then: Bad cough + Regular Popcorn + Cold drinks = TOTAL KNS!! K, doesnt matter there, after committing suicide there, me and my fren went to Jo's church.. Damn, i know we will get lost there, lucky come earlier.. Manage to get to the service juz on time though.. It was so fun sia.. I think I'll start going to church again..

Ah, birthday.. Why i got a feeling that this is my worst birthday ever? Lol.. It's like, lol! since when ppl birthday lock themself in their room and not going out one? Hahaha! I dun mean to start whining again, but i guess this will be the most boring birthday ever.. 1st, dear cant make it, then thought of juz go out for movie with my fren or wad, and then ends up he went back to vietnam today.. LOL!! Thought that, nvm, still have more fren.. Contacted most of them, all busy or wad.. Lol!! To top that, seems like nt much ppl rem abt my bday also.. Lol, not like as if i want their attention or wad, but i said that juz to let u know that hw unpopular am i.. ahahah!!

Doesnt really matter, somehow, after ytd service, i have more faith in God once more.. So, God, like i have been trying to keep telling myself, i know u have a plan for this.. Idk wad's that yet, but, sure, i'll be looking forward to the surprises that You have plan for me.. It's more interesting if i dunno the plan 1st huh? Well, God, i'll juz let u work ur wonder..

Ah, anw, this is the song that i been listening all days long.. Hahaha!!



Enjoy..



Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Stop asking me on how my days are! Lemme ans you once and for all, it sux.. Honestly, sometimes i even ask myself, what is the purpose of me continue going against all these problem? Is there something that wait for me behind all these troubles? Is there something that i hope to achieve by keep continue on? I really dun have idea.. Honestly, i have a feeling that i'll die real early.. Is that the reason why i try to enjoy my remaining time of life?

However sweet is a grape, the seed is still bitter.. No matter how much i try to keep things fine, seems like my romance life is never going to be perfect after all.. It's nt like she never told me before, but it's only till now that i feel it.. Are we starting to drift apart alrd? It even took me and Sue longer to actually meet the end of the story, and this time, things are much much better, but why izzt changing towards the bitterness so soon alrd? Am i really that noob in this matter? SUDONO!! GET UR ARSE BACK HERE!! I think i still have a real long way to perfect my skill in this aspect.. And if i'm nt perfect yet, neither do u.. Sigh, how i miss all those times where we are exchanging problems and love theories.. Also the time where we are advising each other, thinking as if we are pros in this matter.. Well, as we doing that, we are actually improving in this aspect, arent we?? WHY U LEAVE ME ALONE?? WHY?!?! (K, this sound a bit gayish alrd -.-) But seriously, I dunno who to turn to when I face all these problem now.. Suddenly, i juz feel kinda lonely.. When we face problem, we juz have each other back then.. Sigh.. Why am I suddenly digging up all the past anw? Back to the main point, like i say i can feel we are starting to drift slowly but sure.. I really hope that things will be better, but if it doesnt, lets juz see how long this "tag-of-war" things will last.. (i dun even noe wad am i talking abt nw..) Well, guess I'll blog again next time then

Shiroi Oogami
Signing Out



Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Sigh, today is kinda boring.. Expected lah hor.. Come back from Jap and got a few more days to sch.. DAMN U RP!! JUZ OPEN UP ALRD LAH!!!

Woke up today at 9am++.. My parents went to market and bought back breakfast.. Had my breakfast and tidy up stuff.. My dad went back to Indo today, so my whole family is out to sent my father to harbour front.. Stay at hme and bored.. Played some game and watched a few eps of bleach.. talked to dear a bit also this afternoon.. *yawn* then fall asleep in front of laptop coz too tired.. when i wake up, i only realize that it is 5pm alrd.. Had my dinner ard 6-7am.. then talk to Sudono and Michelle abt my trip to japan.. Amazingly, my bro challange me into some game in warcraft today.. It is very rare to happen one.. But well, we played a few games till my mom ask him to go and sleep.. This leave me alone and fortunately, saw some ppl online in msn.. talk abt travelling, if u think i'm having nice life coz of travelling here and there, then prepare to be amazed.. Margaret juz told me that she went to like damn lots of places alrd.. like europe, us, africa, etc etc.. scary huh? Lol.. anw, guess this will be all for my post for today.. Boring huh? I still have tonnes of pics to upload here huh? I'll start uploading 2mr if i have time..

Shiroi Oogami,
Signing out