Monday, April 6, 2009

Wowee! Yet another early release by the boss aka my mum.. Anw, lets record down wad i wanna say yeah?

Read finish the raditya dika book that i bought ytd.. In this book, yet i feel like God trying to tell me something again.. This is not like the 1st time, i mean, GC told me the same thing, and nw Dika tell me the same thing? more than coincidence dude.. Well, wad they told me is this: to let go.. Lemme share you this story of Dika.. (Eh, no, im not plagirising! im juz sharing, honest!)

In this story of his, he said, he was sitting in a waiting room and he saw a few ppl in it.. he saw an african ppl, a caucasian lover, and someone else (i cant rem).. Then he said "to me, everyone here is just normal.. I mean, you see them, they really are normal.. But how you know what's inside? Maybe the african is someone who have terminal disease? or maybe the couple just fought 1 months ago and almost broke up? But you wont know, coz human just seems like that from the outside.. Same goes for me.. People will see me as the cheerful, all-smile, dika.. But they wont know, that i just broke up last week" At this point, i thought "wow..true.. human tends to put on hard case, trying to be something they arent that no one actually know wad's happening inside.." Anw, cont on

"Your friends and ppl who talk to you, whenever you tell them abt the problem you face, most often they'll say 'yeah i understand how you feel' but NO! Truth is they dont know! How will they know about how you feel? the pain and all??" and at this point, it dawned at me again "Maybe he's right again.. Think about it, when i dont feel it, i tell my friend this and that, advicing them not to be down and all.. And i can do that becoz im nt feeling wad she's feeling. Now when im in her condition, i realize, almost all the stuff that i said, it didnt work"

And the final and most important piece that i think really struck me is "Coz that's how human work.. They dont care about what happen to you.. Your prob, is your prob.. And while we still facing the prob, people move on.. And if you dont move on, you got left behind" at this point, i realize.."there's someone else out there that feel the same" (haha, zakia, recalled this line?) and that means, it really is time for me to pull myself together alrd.. I realize, yeah, being with mt is fun, i mean, honestly, going almost everywhere in sg, travelling here and there, skipping schools and all.. But how long do i want to be trapped in that coconut shell instead of looking at the whole world that's larger than that shell? It may nt be instantenous, the forgetting and let go part, but from this point onward, it will be much easier for me alrd..

And thus, im going to change my "count up" title to:

==================================Day 16 without her===================================

How fun is replacing and modifying memory? It's like, you are just doing stuffs to forget abt me, but will you?