Saturday, March 28, 2009

Planned out a mastermind with zakia ytd.. Ok, more like I plan, and ask for her approval, just in case, what I thought is just some crappy idea, and fortunately she says it's ok.. But even ytd, I have no idea to make it a 2 prong attack.. Until this morning, when i talked to kerou.. She agree to help me out in exchange for the plan that who knows might be useful to her.. I hope it's gonna be a success..

Went out with my mum this afternoon to chinatown.. Initially, i thought it's gonna be okay AGAIN.. Like, i thought, "we" never went there before.. But upon arrival, once again, memory flood through my mind again.. Not as much as ytd when i went to Toa Payoh though.. Even when me and my mum went to orchard, a place that i rarely go and safely assume that is save to go, I can recollect memories also.. Apparently, yeah, we ever went there also.. Honestly, is there nowhere in this island that's exciting and "we" never visit before???? ARGH!!

Well, that should be all for now, since my mum have been screaming for me to get off from com and help her in kitchen.. I'll blog again when more things happen

==================================Day 8 after break up===================================

It's saturday, and usually we'll be out today.. I wonder where u'll be going today.. Saw you online at 10am this morning, and went offline ard 11.15.. I thought you will be going out early today.. which you prove me wrong, when u pop up online again at 11.45.. Then, i didnt keep track of it le, since i need to go out with my mum.. And when i'm back, you are long gone le.. Come back early today please? I just want to see you online again....

Ytd night, its yet another restless night.. I cant sleep coz my mind keep picturing you and ben walking together, you and ben kissing, you and ben watch movie, you and ben this and that, basically you and ben does whatever we'll usually do.. Wont you recalled about us when you do it? Why everything seems so easy for you, when it's such a big burden for me? I really cant bear the burden anymore that i actually prayed to God.. I asked him to give me a bit of peacefulness just so that i can sleep, to regenerate all the lost energies that i have spent to improve myself. But the more i try to get the peacefulness, the more my mind goes chaotic.. It might sounds very emoic and you might laugh when you read this, but eventually i prayed to God, asking Him to send me His angel of death, to just claim my life away, so that I will just sleep there peacefully, caring not about this worldly worry.. But, as we have known, He love me too much to do that.. I know He want me to learn my lesson, i know.. It have been 8 days, and none of the days feels light.. I just hope, the lesson wont need to be so hard..