Chronicle of Life

2009-08-18T10:26:00.000+08:00

Lets face it.. She moved on, i havent..

Maybe that's what holding me back all these while

2009-08-11T17:49:00.000+08:00

I would really want to dedicate this song to you.. I just know this song this afternoon, and it makes me think, perhaps, if only i know this song 5 months ago, i might want to send it to you, so that you'll know, how i felt towards you..

Here goes the lyrics:
Going back to the corner,
where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag,
I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard
Got your picture in my hand
Saying "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"
Some try to hand me money
They don't understand,
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense
What else can I do?
How can I move on
when I'm still in love with you?

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says "Son you cant stay here"
I say there's someone I'm waiting for if its a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground,
even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind,
this is the first place she will go

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy,
thats waiting in on a girl
Woooaah -oooh
There are no holes in his shoes,
But a big hole in his world
Oooooh
Maybe I'll get famous for the man who can't be moved,
and maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news,
and you'd come running to the corner,
Cause' you'll know its just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who cant be moved

Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street
so I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
(Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag; I'm not gonna move

2009-06-02T22:30:00.002+08:00

More often than not, my memory will be dragged back to the night where you called me.. It have almost been 2-3 months alrd, and yet, i still cant explain how shocked and surprised i am that night.. It just really sound unbelieveable..

Not only that, as if to add insult to injury, automatically, the night when i went over to woodlands to talk things to you will be recalled also.. I know it's something you need to do, to act like jerk and show no weakness, but by doing that, you are really killing off all my feeling towards you.. I never wanted to slap any girls before, no, never.. That's coz i really respect them.. But that night, honestly, you made me want to slap you just because of your attitude. It might be just fine for you, and if i dont know you much, i would think that you didnt enjoy it.. Sigh, see, just writing things like this, you can see how much hatred accumulated inside of me..

I always thought, breaking up with Sue is the worst.. For she just leave me alone, just like that.. And i thought, breaking up with Jac means that's that.. I will never talk to her and all anymore.. And last but not least, if we broke up one day, we still can be friend, like normal, and chat happily though we have sweeter past. But guess wad? Every single events proves me wrong.. It have almost been 2 years now, and at times i still misses Sue.. Almost 1 year alrd, and i still do small talk with Jac, asking how is she and all.. It have only been 3 months, and yet, whenever i think about you, and saw you, i cant help but feel disgusted and just cast my sight away from you.. Things are just so.....contradicting, dont u think so?

Whatever it is, i really cant care much about you anymore.. You might think that you are very pro, to find another bf just a few days after we break up, but think about it, arent u just making urself look like a no brainer bitch? Im sorry to say that, but think about, isnt it true?

There is really no way for u to read this, but if you do actually found some way, this is what i want to tell you, and this is wad u need to know.. I.....hate you..

2009-05-22T18:20:00.002+08:00

It's such a pain, whenever i rethink about the past again, and im not gonna lie about it here.. In the other blog, i might be pretending to be alright and all, but the fact is, that's not totally true.. I mean, lets face it, it really is not easy to just let go everything at all, that is IF it is possible to forget everything.

At times, i thought of wanting to talk to you.. Just saying hi or something, but something within me decided against it. Everything you used to tell me now seems like it's just a lie..

You told me you're nt gonna be like Sue, disappear without any trace at all, so what are you exactly doing to me now then? Maybe i said this hundreth times alrd, but im still gonna say it, I'm disappointed on myself that I still cant forget you completely and i'm also disappointed at what you do to me.. I thought you're gonna be diff, you certainly proved me wrong..

Do you remember the Indonesian song i sent you? "Permintaan hati" Whenever i heard that song now, it really pain me a lot.. It really draw out our condition perfectly well now.. What seems to be so far back then, feels just so real now that i cant believe it's happening.. Sigh, when will this torment end?

2009-05-11T00:35:00.004+08:00

Hmm, this post is just to say that, im moving my blog alrd.. This blog will be a closed blog and only can be visited by those that i invite.. I will close it within 2-3 days. Within this day, if u do visit this blog and wanted to be invited, please do tell me so. Else, there will be no more access to this blog..

~My past will be finally unviolated~

2009-05-08T22:59:00.003+08:00

I guess this will be my last post here.. Why u ask? Coz i'll be changing my blog, that's why.. All thanks to missy ong aka shermin.. Well, the idea of changing is we agreed that we are going to leave our past behind and start something afresh together.. No no, not that kind of together.. just plain normal together -.- It's kinda good, coz i get new accompaniance to actually leave the whole thing behind. What to left behind u ask? Those stuffs like about mt? Those are the bad memories.. Or maybe i will dump all my sadness in this blog, whereas, anything good, it will be on my new blog, im nt sure yet, but i'll see how it goes.

Class was fun today. It's sales management, what u expect but fun? :D Not as exciting as last 2 weeks though.. I dont know why.. Maybe its just like what i told zakia, suddenly i just felt like i dont have any motivation to get excited anymore.. Speaking of zakia, she skipped school halfway today! Guess the reason? On 2nd thought, no, u wont be able to guess it. The ever-calmed-no-temper zakia, cant take her group nonsense and finally get pissed off!! Imagined that! I cant even imagine what her team mates do.. =x Tsk tsk, u guys = dead.. U dont know who u just messed with :D

I dont think im going to post any long msg or anything alrd here.. Nth much to talk abt anw.. Oh, and guess wad? This is my last post, cum the 90th post.. Nice eh? :D

I was suppose to start afresh alrd since long time ago, and i kept telling myself that i can make it again and again. But as you might have see, from times to times, i still get to recall stuffs abt us or you. I just really really hope that, by moving blog this time, everything will start really afresh.. I am determined to forget about u alrd this time..

Ps: i was listening to heavenly day by aragaki yui, and it kinda reminded me of us on the theater on the bay. That's like one of our song.. What goes through my mind when we listen to it initially on the past is "such a sad song.. I'm quite sure this kind of things wont happen to us" but apparently, i was wrong.. I would really like to share a line of the song that really touches me..

"..kaisatsuguchi de ienakatta iitakatta
“arigatou”tte kotoba wa tabun
“sayonara” yorimo kanashii kotoba ni omouno"

"I couldn’t say it by the ticket barrier, I wanted to say
That I feel “Thank you” are maybe words
much sadder than “goodbye”"

It indeed pains more for me to say thanks rather than say goodbye now.. But i think this got to end somewhere.. Maybe it's still hard for me, but i really will try my best to say goodbye.... Bye..

2009-05-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

Hmm, been a while since i post. Nothing much happened on Tue and Wed anw.. Except that i experience my 1st time skipping on tue. Well, it was marketing and i was sleepy. And not to mention Tiong tempt me.. Wad could i say? =x Met Shawn, Jon and his wife at the afternoon.. It was......FUN! Haha! they really can talk lots of crap.. Haha!

Wed is quite boring though. Went back to school to meet FYP advisor and do some of the stuffs that need to be done regarding FYP. Went back home after that alrd though. Was listening to radio and 987 FM actually throw this question to win a SE phone: "what is the meanest thing that u ever done to ur ex to get back to them?" And that actually make my mind race back to 1-2 months ago.. Mm, the planning and everything! haha!!

I know i deserve a slap, but recently, my emotion get a bit unstable again. It's like, my resolve starts to crumble bit by bit.. I begin to start to recall about events with her and all.. And everytime that happens, i'll just suddenly get quiet and just look away frm whatever i looking at.
It's quite sad actully....sad? wait, no, it's more like.......disappointment.. And nope, not to her, but rather, to myself. I mean, i told myself, not to recall abt it anymore and stuffs like that. But it's like my inner self will always try to "steal-a-peak" on the past whenever im nt aware. At times, i actuall thought "i wonder...when i was recalling back like this, will she recall back about our times also?" What you guys think? Well, what i think is no, she wont..if she's going to recall, wont it be her memories with her "latest" bf, and that will be ben isnt it? Kinda sad and pathetic, i know. I just really hope by blogging this down, it helps to cure a bit. It's still bugging me now, but i do hope after a good night rest, i can go to school with a skip in my step again.

2009-05-05T00:10:00.002+08:00

Juz woke up from nap, and realize it's almost the deadline of rj.. Quickly rush through it and complete it.. I honestly despise the Business Process Modelling.. Freaking faci..

Anw, class today's much better than 2 weeks ago.. Ice is thinner, words are thrown around easier.. Thinner ice doesnt mean no ice yet though.. I hope everything will be fine next week

Didnt get to talk much to Kristy today.. Guess she's busy with her work today? Well, perhaps later i'll text her or something

On the other hand, i was texting Cherry on the afternoon and fall asleep halfway through.. Woke up only to find 3 msgs from her worrying.. Meh, im sorry.. =x

Ok, i loving this style. Short and to the point of what i want to record.. Oh shit, am i getting lazy to blog? Ah well, i'll do what i want to do..

2009-05-03T22:35:00.002+08:00

Hmm, not going to be a long post.. Boring day, not going out, nuff said..

Helping Kristy with her PE project.. Tsk, secondary school project really does seems simple enuff alrd when u are facing with 3 years of continuos PBL.. I mean, last time we also have project and i still remember, it took us almost 1 month to finish 1 freaking simple project.. Kinda remind me of my past.

Cherry had tuition spree today. Preparation for MYE seems like getting tighter and tighter for sec kid eh? Well, all the best for ur exam! ;)

School reopen 2mr again, after such a long weekend.. Mixed feeling.. I mean, i DO miss school, but i feel a bit lazy to go to the class.. Doesnt matter, gotta face the fear.. No sense of running ard anw..

Life's pretty flat for me.. What i thought i want turns out to be what i dont really want.. Not really complaining though, for i have told myself that im taking a break.. Seems like even life agree with me.. No matter, friends will still be there, they will make the life more.....unplain :D

Guess that's all for nw, gonna go back to the ppt and rest for 2mr alrd.. Nights people

2009-05-02T23:20:00.002+08:00

Okay, im nt gonna post a long post now, coz im freaking tired!! ARGH!! Excited and all though.. :D

So, lets recap what happened today then.....................Ok, cant remember anything BUT the arrow service! :D

Met up with caregroup at ard 3.30pm at mac donald.. It was only Derek, Victor and Shawn though.. No, not the Shawn, but the CG Shawn.. So, yeah, we sat around and chat for around 1 hour before we head down to ROCK.. It's quite amazing that we can chat a lot actually, for the fact that last time i wont be able to mix with them.. Haha! Security is tight for the day, for they really take all precautions against swine flu.. Ah well, He will protect us all..

It was an all-praise-and-worship session today! So, nw u guys understand why i said i'm tired? :D Songs were awesome, peoples are awesome too, in short, everything is juz plainly awesome! :D Enjoy today's service to the max ;)

Went for dinner with CG.. It was an awesome fellowshipping session.. Shared with Christon, Victor and Jonathan abt wad happen to me recently.. I mean, what's the harm? It doesnt even concern me anymore -.- Derek came over after that and ask us to greet new guy called.....shit, wad's his name again? ANDREW!! YEAH YEAH!! HIS NAME'S ANDREW!! Well, initially i thought i was going to just say hi and that's all, but who knows? I ends up crapping with him and telling him jokes and all.. Aww, CG is just a bunch of fun people :D

Ok, like i say, i wont be dragging this anymore.. Me going to sign off here and me going to sleep alrd nw :D Nights guys!! :D

2009-05-01T17:52:00.003+08:00

HELLO!! haha!! Damn, havent been blogging for these 2 days -.- Well, nothing much happen today, so i'll juz blog abt ytd then.

Ytd was fun.. I mean, it's sales management class and i really do enjoy it.. The peoples are fun, and they jokes a lot too.. Lemme share with you something funny about ytd then.. It actually started out in my team.. I was playing RC and i need eggs for my recipe.. So i ask a friend of mine, Joan, whether she have eggs or not.. This conversation was being overheard by another teammate of mine, clef and she ask "um, restaurant city?" Ends up, she also playing, and we exchange email to add in facebook and all.. This madness didnt stop here, for actually another guy in my team is playing also.. So, our whole team does nothing else except playing RC in 1st meeting..

Now now, so there is this girl, called Shermin in my class.. She's fun and she always seem to have "issue" with me.. There's always something for us to quarell about.. Not sure why though.. Haha!! Well, anw, i was curious, so i asked her "hey! u got play RC?" and instead of replying me, she juz show me her laptop screen and in there, it was RC.. No more question ask except "what's ur email??" and that's how we exchange email.. LOL! Well, not only her only actually.. The next amazing thing is, i actually juz asked the whole class "WHO IS PLAYING RC HERE IN THIS CLASS??" and guess what? quite a lot of ppl playing too!! And that's how my thur class bonds :D hahahaha! Awesome or wot? (and shermine is still as stingy as ever.. Die die dont want give me the egg >:( Boo! Haha! )

I think ytd itself, we influenced and bring ard 3-4 people to the world of culinary and management in RC alrd.. Haha! This is the power of marketing and sales person =x Haha!

Well, i slept in for today anw.. And i dreamt lots of stuff for that period of time.. I even dreamt abt her.. It's such a vivid and almost like real dream.. I mean, it's like i almost be able to feel her touch, feel her breath and.....well, my point is it seems so real.. Well, of course, as i was typing this, i cant remember it so much anymore.. But it really does seems so real, till this point of dream (which i can really remember clearly), that i told myself in "neahz, this cant be! this confirm is just a dream!" and on that instant, it's like as if everthing is dispelled from me.. Her touch become blur, her face starts to get transparent, and when i woke up, i thought i will start missing her.. I dont know how i should feel though, when i woke up, for i didnt even miss her slightest bit anymore.. I really dont know whether i should feel happy, or just being plain sad.. Either way, my life goes on once more..

2009-04-28T20:52:00.003+08:00

Been an awfully long and tiring, yet fun day today.. I mean, it's tue class!! Told u im looking forward for it alrd :D

Meet up with sinting and the rest 1st before we went to school together.. As usual, sinting is the latest to arrive, i mean, what's new? :P Today, i'm in the same class as sinting, so we head down to our beloved class together.. When i enter the class, all i saw in my team is only Kai En.. I thought the rest will show up in no time, but until the class started alrd, there's not even a sign of them yet.. Our faci asked us whether we want to join up with other teams or not, but we are resilent and said "we have faith in our teammates!" Haha!! The only good news is after a guy came in the class (dont know what's his name yet =x) and said "dont worry, jo will come" then, me and kai en exchange glance, and we understood each other that it's fine alrd, and we wont need to join other teams.. Ivan and Han Yang came much later, and that's when our crap journey begin! :D

Didnt focus much on today's work.. It's only 2nd week, and i've been crapping with the class like as if i knew them for long long time.. But then again, this is how i like my class to be, cheerful bunch of lame asses who jokes back and mock back when i joke and mock them jokingly :D Rock on guys! Me and my team joke so much till we didnt even manage to complete our presentation.. Luckily, Raymon sent me a ppt of his friend and we are so freaking tempted to juz edit the background and present it as what it is.. Lucky Ivan bring us to conscience and change the words and all.. Ah well, the format and all is still the same, but at least, the faci let us off juz like that! Haha!! THX FACI!! :D

Crap around with classmates as i wait for young to come over to my class.. And i talked to alicia (i think this is her name, since i made her add me in facebook and that's wad she write her name as in facebook), and found out that she play dota too! And we agree to have a friendly match next week after class alrd.. Awesome, or what?! Haha!! Walked over to causeway with young after that, and cant resist the temptation to play rising zone again.. So, each of us pump in 6 bucks, which is ard 3 credits.. and guess what?! WE CLEARED IT FINALLY!! Haha!! Awesome sia!

It was so tiring that when i reached home, i fall into deep slumber straight.. And when i woke up, i was greeted with nothing more than scolding from my parents.. It honestly dampen my mood whole thing.. The only thing that cheer my mood up is Cherry's msg and the thought of starting up my 1GB ram.. I done my RJ and take care of my RC and all.. I'm just so glad that Tiong called me and ask me to go and play alrd.. And thus, im going to sign off from here now and going to defend the world with my group now..

PS: Get well Cherry, and you can make it for ur phy test one! :D

2009-04-27T21:15:00.002+08:00

Woot! Im uber high now.. Guess why? Coz my com is finally running with 1GB ram!! And the credit goes to Tiong Choovic Parichart!! Hahahaha!!

Awesome day today.. Reached school the earliest.. And starts of the discussion with teammates.. I was a bit lazy today, and i played game at the presentation time.. As in, other people's presentation, not mine, duh.. But yeah, that kinda break my record chain of paying attention, no matter how boring it is, to other ppl's presentation for 4 days alrd.. Sry guys :(

Walk back home with Young, Zakia and Sinting.. Chat and crap alot with them.. Haha! They are still the most awesome friends i have, i swear!! Thx a lot guys, to be there when i need you guys!! Esp Zakia!! As reliable and dependable as ever!! :D:D Young said he wanna visit timezone before we head home, so, i spent yet another precious 5 bucks on arcade and clear the game till Bonus stage with only 2 credits! That's like, so amazing! And you should see the crowd that gather behind us.. Esp when some of them are whispering away, when me and Young are killing enemy with headshots during the sniper rifle round.. Thx dude!! :D

Tiong called me after the arcade session.. I thought he's going to ask me to play Dota which is totally insane, coz it's only 5-6 pm, but that's not it.. He's coming over to pass me his spare ram!!! Woot woot!!! :D:D we went to homefix to get a screwdriver, but they didnt sell single one.. Thankfully, the shop owner is awfully kind, she juz let us use the screwdriver just like that! :D After some unscrewing, we finally able to plug the RAM in, though, to our dismay, when we boot up my laptop, it still show 504MB ram.. Tiong told me to fix it once i reached home and we chat a lot as we wait for his friend after that..

Reached home,and the 1st thing i do is, call Tiong up and fixed the damn RAM of mine.. It took some time, but after a few fearless attempt (scared my delicate laptop spoil lah! Else the precious RAM snap into two!), finally the RAM is positioned correctly, and FINALLY MY LAPTOP IS RUNNING WITH 1GB RAM!!! HAHAHAHA

Russell told me about free favour he accepted this year, and i thought i havent got any yet.. But apparently, im wrong.. What is this then, if not free favour? If i didnt break up, will i spend time in dota game? If i didnt spend time in dota game, will i know Shawn? If i didnt know Shawn, will i know Tiong? If i didnt know Tiong, will he come over to woodlands to meet up after school? If he didnt come over and meet up, will i get my 512 RAM for free? It's like totally a free favour that He had planned all along..

Ytd in the sermon, the reverend actually say this "STOP worrying... Those things that you worried about, answer me honestly, do you think YOU can solve it? If no, why are you keep on trying then? Shouldnt you be sitting back and relax and let God do His job?" This might make us sounds like we are slacker or something, but think about it honestly, He is our Dad, and if you are someone's parents, and if you see your child is troubled, wont you want to help them no matter how impossible it might sounds? As i was typing this, He actually play this "tape" in my head.. Back when i was primary, i need to hand this art project the next day, and i cant finish it on time.. I got scolded, sure, but when i woke up for toilet visit at night, i walked passed their room, and when i peek inside, i saw both of them are busy gluing and doing what I'M suppose to be doing.. That's how great our mortal parents love is.. What's more our immortal Dad then??

He was awesome, and He know what i need.. So, Lord, tell you what? I'm gonna take all this worriness within me, and trust that you'll be the one that solve it.. Nope, i cant get A for every single class of mine, and nope, i cant complete my CE points by the end of year 3, and NOPE, i know nothing about coding and i think my fyp for this sem is screwed.. So, nope, i'm not even going to try to solve this up anymore, and im going to sit back, and take a nap, as You do all the wonder.. Thx a lot Dad.. :D

2009-04-26T21:25:00.002+08:00

Woot woot!! Guess who's back?! :D If you guess it's me, you are right!! :D:D

Day starts off pretty fast today.. Woke up ard 8am, due to stomachache....AGAIN.. Then nth much happen le, except for the fact that we are going to have buffet lunch on COCA.. It's a steamboat place in orchard.. Reason of we going there is becoz it's my grandma's bday.. Had lots of food, and it have been a while since i go for buffet.. Wew! Ate till almost explode..

Head down to City Hall after that, getting ready to attend service.. Reached there 2pm, and found the rest of the caregroup is like having meeting.. So, i sat back, had a cup of coffee (yeah, i think i start to get addicted to coffee alrd nw :[) and read the book i brought along.. Head down to killiney after they are done with the meeting, and down there, guess what i had? Yeah, some of you might've guess with the hint i left above, the rest of you who didnt get it: WOLS!!! I had iced coffee.. Haha!! Chat with caregroup about school life and FYP stuff.. Apparently, they are a fun bunch of people!! Haha!!

Service was great juz nw.. It's like, the sermon is addressing my post recovery period sia.. Lots of points that the reverend said hit the mark within me.. And that's when i know, once again, my Dad have yet plan this up properly :D After service, i went to arcade a while and played Rising Storm, the recent shooting arcade game that i played with youngly.. 10 credits still, and it bring me to further point of the story.. It's awesome! :D

Now, Restaurant city is running on background, and Choovic Parichart juz called me, asking where the hell am i, so, i think i cant talk much alrd now.. Yeah, yeah, i know my post getting shorter and shorter now...but well, im trying my best to record the whole day down as short as possible, as some of you saying that my blog is wordy.. Ah well... Cant satisfy all of you, can i? =x

Oh yeah....Cherry still sick.. :( Rest more yeah? and get well soon! Looking forward to talk to the cheery you again.. :D

I was walking down the way from Rock to Mrt station, and i saw lots of places that we have visited, it does trigger my memories, and i can almost see us standing there.. Weird things is, whenever the memories triggered, I can always hear the voice within me that say "Dude, who is this girl that you keep seeing in ur memory? Do you know her?" and on that instant, the memories are gone just like that.. I dont know shall i be sad or shall i be happy about it, but i sure do feel relieved and can find myself smiling when that voice came within me

2009-04-26T00:07:00.002+08:00

Ah well, overplay and forgot to blog for the day again, but doesnt matter, i'll recap it now

Nothing much happen today, except fetching my mum from changi airport.. I only sleep ard 4am, and my dad woke me up to go to changi airport and fetch my mum.. A bit du lan, if i were to be honest.. Well, bla and bla happen... and we came back home..

Aiya, fuck it, honestly, i cant even concentrate to blog now, coz i'm wearing headset as i typing now, and tiong they all are talking crap over the skype.. And well, we juz done dota, so, my mind still about killing and all.. Well, what u expect? pub game is ALWAYS fun :D

Oh, and im kinda looking forward to the me who'll go to service 2mr alone.. As in, i always said that i'm lazy to travel down alone, but seems like He finally instill some "solitude" attitude within me, and i told the caregroup that i'm coming alrd 2mr.. So, it's like me going to travel down alone.. New thing is i think im going to join them for the fellowship.. Quite fucked up of me though, it's like as if, i lost her alrd, then i go find friend.. But then again, i dont care, perhaps this IS what He want me to be.. Like, fun time is over, time to serve Him now..

Actually, at times, i feel like want to blog about stuffs about life.. As in, like those arguments that brew within me, but i always cant.. So, this afternoon, as i came back from changi after fetching my mum, in the bus, i actually asked God about this.. I ask "Lord, why is it that i cant think about those stuff anymore?" He replied it short and sweet "For?" and that's enuff to actually make me think alrd.. Exactly, for wad? Dont i want to be just who i am instead of someone who people want me to be? So, why think abt their opinion and stuff?

Like what I've told Amy, im going to declare it once again: He indeed know me the best! I dont even know myself that well, and yet, he can read me like an open book.. He know what i need, He know what i dont need, He know how to teach me, He know everything about me.. He is indeed a worthy Father of mine.. Thx for being so patience.. :D

2009-04-24T20:24:00.003+08:00

Armed with 2 cans of red bull and 2 packet of snacks that i stole from Young's club room, i determined to stay up and play overnight with my friends tonight alrd! Idc, starting 2mr, it'll be hard for me to play till late alrd, so yeah, revenge game tonight! >:D

I thought i dont want to record down today's activity, but something about life instead, but then again, fuck with that.. Im gonna do what i wanna do, not becos what someone do.. So, here goes

Woke up kinda late today, but i tried to calm myself, telling myself that my class will only start at 10am.. So, just relax loh.. I'm getting good in denying her existance, i walked pass this chair where we sat down, a night before i went back Indonesia before we broke up, and i found my inner self asking "u remember you were sitting there with her?" and my other inner self replied "her? who is her? I honestly have no gf that betray me" and to my amazement, it didnt even hurt a little bit anymore.. Ok, that means, i'm really on the right track alrd..

Reached class at 945, a bit early, but better be early than late yeah? Class today's kinda......nt enjoyable.. Too quiet IMO.. I mean, they do talk, but what they talk is like.......nothing but project work.. And this is translated into NO FUN!! Ah well, seems like i'll need to do something about this group of mine also next week.. If they not gonna crap, i'm gonna crap with them till they become as lame as me..

Nothing much happened in class that's worth recording, so, i'll juz zoomed to the end of the class, where i met up with my fyp mates and we do some UCS on login, and by the end of the session, we decided to split work and i got the part to do logout UCS.. Doesnt matter, simple simple.. I'll finish it up later.. Anw, after that, went to Young's club room, and that's where i stole the 2 packet of snacks.. Thanks yeah? :D

Now, as i'm typing, i just finished done my RJ and all, and Tiong's rushing me to play alrd.. Meh, yet another inhouse game, cooler term will be, clan war.. Kinda dislike it, need to think one.. Ah well, im gonna sign off now and record down again next time!

OH OH!! Last but not least, doubt that you'll be reading this, but who knows?? Congratz cherry!! For passing all your stations in napfa!! Haha, see, told you that you can do it! :D

2009-04-23T19:49:00.002+08:00

Actually, i think i can really feel contented with my current life.. Woke up today and was glad to see a msg from shermaine, yet to wish me good luck for the day to survive new class.. She's sweet, honestly..

Sch life started 915 today.. When i enter class, it was still half empty.. And when i check my team, im suppose to group up with Joan, a girl from my church.. I thought "ok, not bad, at least someone i know.. Lesser ice to break" To my disappointment though, she came late, and i still need to face 3 other strangers 1st on the 1st meeting.. Even after Joan reached class, situation didnt change much, for we also didnt talk much except for exchanging some glance..

2nd meeting was fun though, for we played some ice breaker game.. But this game is super powerful, for it didnt just break the ice, but it literally melt the whole ice wall down.. Class is not the same anymore after the game.. It goes from graveyard to pasar malam.. And guess what? I prefer pasar malam MUCH MUCH more than graveyard!! :D We discussed some stuffs that we suppose to put in our presentation for 3rd meeting, and after that, most of my teammates need to go for talks and all.. So, i tried to finish up most of the things before going down for lunch with Joan..

3rd meeting started a bit later.. around 2.15 for my classmates said that they dont have time to finish the ppt since they need to go for talks.. Presentation itself were fun too! Differnece in opinion thrown in class is not treated coldly and the faci even let some of us argue to some point before he stop it and give us some explanation.. I wont be able to bear to sit down through other's team ppt usually, but this module however, my eyes couldnt stop staring at the projector screen instead of my com screen.. Maybe it's only today's problem, or maybe this module is really that fun and interesting, but I honestly looking forward till next Thur!

I said: "Oh Lord.. This class is awfully boring again! Can you PLEASE help me to change the situation?? I dont want to lose interest in classes like how i lost mine on monday.."
He said: "I gave you the power to break the ice alrd.. Just swing that sledgehammer.."
I said: "I.....have not enough strength.."
He said: "Ok, here we go... One, two, three!!" *SMASH*
I said: "Oh gosh!! It's broken, it's broken!! I have lots of friends now!!! Thank you Lord!!"
He said: "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" (Matthew 7:7)

And that's how i ended my day.. Felt more refreshed than ever.. Now, i really looking forward to what He kept for me again 2mr.. AWESOME!! :D:D

2009-04-22T23:12:00.002+08:00

Wednesday's ending alrd!! That means 3 days after school reopen now.. And guess wad? Im still looking forward for school 2mr.. Haha! I mean, new class new friend.. Maybe something interesting like Tue can happen again.. Ah, what is life,but beautiful mysteries? :D

Woke up quite late today.. Suppose to meet my fyp teammates at 10.. So, morning time is practically quite a rush.. And i only arrive at school at 11.. Lucky things is, my teammates are forgiving.. haha!! We start our discussion imidiately.. The discussions didnt last very long though, since we cant discuss much but the content page and all.. Discussion ends around 1pm and we head home after that..

Slept almost my whole afternoon off.. it's more like on and off type, since as i sleep, shermaine and kristy sms-ed me.. Not that im complaining though.. They really make a good company :D Yeah, well, like i say, afternoon is nt much except for maybe a bit about FYP that i do on the use case specs..

Night time came and dinner is awesome.. We had salmon teriyaki, home made.. i thought it's not gonna be nice, since when i took it up, there's bones.. But it's like after those 2 bones, the rest is all tender meet.. And it's really awesome.. Im typing this and i can feel my saliva multiplied alrd..
Had a few dota games after that.. A few only, really.. And after that we decided to just talk through skype instead of playing game.. Exchanged infos abt tsunami and all.. Quite fun actually..

And as u guys can see, ben been paying me visit in my blog.. So honorable and brave of him.. I thought he can only bark around only.. But now he dare to show off that he's nt chained down also... Quite a big step for a small puppy.. *throw bones and give him praise*

Guess that's all for today then.. Im gonna cont to talk to kristy and my skype friends and sleep after that.. Hope 2mr can wake up on time.. Nights guys!!

2009-04-22T01:08:00.002+08:00

Ah shucks.. It's 1am alrd, that means it's counted as wed alrd.. This post is supposedly posted on tue night one.. So yeah.. Here we go

Woke up quite late today.. My grandma woke me up to get ready for school.. Suppose to meet sc and the rest at 830, and i only woke up at 730.. I thought i'm going to be late alrd, and i try to hurry everything up.. But when i board the train and called sc, he told me he still at home.. I straightly ask him to faster do everything up and leave the hse ASAP..

Same class as sc today, so, we head to our class together.. Was kinda hoping that we are in the same team, but apparently, no such luck.. I'm assigned to team 5, and by the time the class start, i'm the only one that's in team 5.. Till a bit later, when a student who came late called Ivan, came to class.. He's supposedly to be my team mate, and thus, team 5 is now 2 person.. Haha!! Then we have others like Han, Kai En to join my team.. And guess what? they turn out to be a really awesome teammates.. I mean, honestly, they crap alot, and within minutes, we are comfortable with each others alrd..

In between break, I flip through tabs in my mozilla and i flipped till my blog.. And i saw a puppy tagging my tagboard!! I mean, that's really brave of him!! He actually take a big step to come out from his own cage to bark!! Well, that of course, with me motivating him through my blog and tagging him in his own cage.. I'm proud of you! Really!! And yeah, im still guessin you'll come to my blog to see what i type about you, so here you are little puppy! a whole paragraph for you!! You can even copy and paste it if you like the paragraph :D

Ah, enuff abt puppy -.- Anw, it's kinda sad when we need to leave class today.. At least for me.. For it will be till next week till i can see my teammates again.. Damn year 3 system.. Everyday new class and new friends.. But well, i guess that's for the better us in working life out there next time..

Lemme see lemme see...what happen at afternoon?? Hmmmmm...nothing much actually.. I dont know why, but these 2 days, i always seems like fall asleep after school.. I mean, i really really feel tired.. which is weird for usually, after school, i'll juz come back home and game... Ah well, maybe after sometime I'll get used to this alrd.. Oh, and according to kristy, today's free cone day and she went with her classmate to get it.. Haha!! And shermaine hurt her arm.. :( She said it's becoz she help out carrying things ytd.. Get well soon yeah? ;)

Okok, like i say, i typed this at 1am, and 2mr im meeting my fyp teammates.. So, i got to sleep alrd.. *yawwwnnnnn*

==================================Day 30 without her===================================
Finally the day came.. It have been 30 days, and i do admit that, during this final few days, I'm kinda tempted to giving myself excuses to increase the time caps.. But the more i think about it, i think you also will agree that there's no more reason for me to do so.. So, today, after 30 days, i declared that the pact that i made myself for myself is over.. Upon clicking the "publish post" button, we really are going to be strangers alrd..

I just wish that.......well, i try to rack my brain to wish something for you, but nothing can really comes up.. So, maybe Ben want to help me instead? Seeing you also the same position as me alrd now? :D Yeah, well, if he cant help, then maybe i can just say all those crap like "wish you all the best for your studies and career"

==================================End of Count up===================================

2009-04-20T21:22:00.003+08:00

They sing "It's a new day, but it all feels old.." And I certainly feel so too.. Today's totally brand new day, but somehow, it doesnt feel like much different from ytd.. Well, let me just sums up today's event again then

Woke up early today, which is not a good move, for i slept quite late ytd.. Not as if i want it but the stomachache is really killing me.. Rushed to toilet and relieve the pain and i was amazed or rather shocked, for it is diarrhea.. It causes me to visit the toilet like 3 times.. And after those ping pong, i decided that im not going to sleep back and that's around 7am.. So, i went to bathe and pack my things up, and called zakia, see whether she want to meet up before class starts or not.. She's on bus alrd, and she said she'll be reaching in 40 mins time, so i thought i still can make it.. But when i just reached j8, she called me and told me that she's reaching in 5 mins alrd.. So, we agreed that we'll juz meet in canteen later on..

Events after that are pretty stupid.. I was sitting around with zakia waiting for sinting, wj and young to come before we go to class.. Sounds pretty normal, BUT things is, i dont know that they are C group and im B group.. That means, my class start at 915 and theirs start at 10.. And i still thought i wont late for my 1st day.. I only enter class at 940, whereby everyone is like doing FMT alrd by then.. Oh gosh....

Shermaine said she's coming over to RP to help out in SYF in trcc, and i really really wish i can meet up with her, but the change of schedule of break and all in RP really cause me cant even have some relaxing time.. I mean, all I can do is eat lunch, and when i look at the time, i only have 30 mins left to complete my project.. How frustrating is that?? Argh! Sry Shermaine.. =x

I was so bored in 3rd meeting that i was looking around FB and saw mt and ben break.. (*ssh* this is suppose to be secret only, do not leak it out.. I mean, seriously, dont).. So, i went to ben blog to see how he take it.. And to my amazement, he take it by mocking me! haha!! He was like "well, at least im not being an idiot who do counting up and wadever shit.." or "do you think ur gf going to love u back if u keep doing that?" Now now, let us study about some psychology qn.. What will he be thinking when he's typing that? Think....Think...Think....Anyone get it? Well, idk what u guys got, but to me it seems that after break up, he cant take it easy, so he want to post some emo shit, BUT he cant, coz he mocked me before for being emo.. So, what can he do?? Yes, he can act heroic, and act uber tough and most prolly thinking "no, i cant type something like him! I must be stronger than him! I must look more braver than him! esp after i'm juz a puppy who can bark and not bite!!!!" well, ok, most prolly he wont think abt the last part....BUT I DO!! :D:D What i just do is, tag him with my nick (which i find it weird since he's not tagging me back in my tagboard) saying "woof woof, little puppy barks a lot in it's own cage eh? :D:D" Aww, he's cute... Really.. Guess i found out why mt like him alrd... I mean, who can resist a puppy??? Well, though in this case, this puppy looks a bit retarded and barks a lot though.. Kinda irritating actually..

Met up with CG for dinner later on.. Christon need some help with installing *cough* pirated *cough* game.. And seems like he got difficulty on the crack part.. I didnt manage to help him throughout though, coz Amy wanted to talk to me abt mt's case.. She really want to make sure that I'm fine alrd.. Thx for the concern really, and i really appreciate it, thought it's like 2-3 weeks late though.. Haha! But i do enjoy talking to her just now.. It's like suddenly I can be so frank to her.. What i dont understand is that she said it's perfectly fine and perfectly normal for mt not to talk to me now and it's the best for us.. This kinda crashed with my thoughts that i had all along.. I mean, break alrd means cant be friends? As in, i dont care whether mt want to talk to me or not at this point of time.. She can just do wadever she want and i wont even care, but what i care is, the philosophy that she shared crashed with mine.. Well, perhaps she have reasons to said that, or maybe she can just see things differently from me..

Reach home after that, and after bathe, all i know is i fell into deep slumber.. And when i woke up, there's a few sms from shermaine and kristy.. And for the 1st time, me and shermaine chatted for quite a while, and it's a very pleasing evening.. You made my evening! :D

==================================Day 29 without her===================================
Mm, through you, I learnt much stuff alrd and i really had lots of fun alrd.. And im gonna thank you for all of that.. I mean, without you, i wont travel around singapore and have fun wherever we went.. And not to mention, i wont know Ben, who is somehow is very easy to be provoke whenever im feeling bored.. He really is a good entertainer.. And for that, im sorry to say such things abt ur bf, i guess.. But it really is true!! Oh Ben, you gonna read this too arent u? Thanks a lot man!! :D Ah doesnt matter.. Anw, Amy told me that you are going to move to NP's CG alrd.. Wish you have fun there and be able to make new friends yeah? ;)

2009-04-20T00:37:00.002+08:00

Okok, I'm back as promised.. This post is for Sunday (this is because when i look at the time it's 12:37).. This actually means, in less than 10 hour time, i'll be sitting inside RP class, either paying attention to the faci's yapping OR imagining stuffs OR busy doing my own stuff.. In any case, lemme just record down today's event then

Woke up at 830 cos Young woke me up.. Yeah, cant blame him, told him that i'm going to send him to Junction 8.. Well, after washing up and everything, we head down to J8 to the arcade place.. The arcade is not even open, and yet he's banging on the door to claim his specs alrd.. It indeed is a funny scene to watch

Decided to just have brunch outside, and we went to the foodcourt beside the arcade.. Intended to have rice, but then i just realize that they dont have economical rice stall there.. So, in exchange, I walk around and decided on this noodle stall.. When i was standing in front of the stall, i have 2 choice of foods actually, either ban mian or u mian.. Initially, i thought i'll just choose ban mian, coz u mian kinda remind me of her.. Then it occur to me, this cant go on forever.. I mean, what? juz coz this have something to do with the past, that means i cant eat something that i like? So, embracing the fear of recalling, i ordered U mian.. After the meal, we head down to arcade.. This time, to play.. We tried this new arcade machine called raising storm.. It's totally awesome.. It's like an upgrade of crisis zone, but with better gun, multiple gun function, better graphic, etc etc.. Totally enjoy it..

Went home after that, to find that im really really bored....not to mention sleepy.. Chatting with kristy and told her that i'm nt going to nap my afternoon off for this is the last day fo hol alrd.. But well, good weather and soft gust of wind, blew me into deep slumber.. When i woke up, it's like 4pm and i've just wasted like almost my whole afternoon of my last day of holiday! Freaking frustrated for me, and freaking amusing for kristy when i told her.. Ah well, what to do, she is juz pure evil.. :D

Night time is filled with games with both Youngly and Shawn and friends.. Played Enfos with Youngly for warming up, and after that, played some dota games with shawn and the rest.. Playing with them has never been a dull moment.. I mean, there's always something that'll happen.. This is amazing why? It's becoz, after the breaking up, i thought from that point onward, my life's going to be dull, for usually, whenever im bored, i can always depend on her to entertain me.. Well, facts prove me wrong.. This is yet another plus point to my "i think i can do this" attitude..

Well, bottom of the line, this is the final day of the holiday, and upon the clicking of the "publish post", i cant guarantee that my life is going to be super exciting like this anymore.. But i'll promise that i'll still blog as fun as this again.. Till 2mr again..

==================================Day 28 without her===================================
I know you are refering to me.. I know.. And i dont want to justify myself by saying anything.. If you are reading this, give yourself sometime, and think logically.. Think how you act back then and think how you act now.. See the language you use now and see you how you speak now.. I tried to justify myself against my own thought, thinking that you just want to try to be someone else for a while.. But, honestly, you are not getting better but worse.. And as your friend, or even someone who just know you, I do think i have the right to see you be a better person.. This is just what ran through my mind.. You can think about it, or you can ignore the whole thing completely.. Either way, hope everything went well for u

2009-04-19T12:19:00.002+08:00

Heh, seems like i always blog 1 day before like that eh? This post is dedicated for what happened ytd, at saturday

Cant really remember what time i woke up alrd, but all i know is after i wake up, im pretty much bored and the debate within myself whether i should go for arrow or not is raging greatly.. I mean, my hunch ask me to go arrow.. In fact, it's not asking, but trying really really hard to convince me to go.. Whereas, my laziness side, really lazy to travel down to city hall and suntec all by myself.. I let those 2 continue fighting within myself, while i went to do my stuffs

Went to check facebook, hotmail and leo system.. I mean, 2 more days sch's going to reopen, might as well make sure which class am I in and all 1st.. Dont want to go into wrong class and give a bad first impression to people.. And i checked my applications in facebook and hotmail after that.. Nothing new, spam mails, spam mails and more spam mails.. What make the whole morning interesting is nothing more but exploring my new phone and smsing ppl without hesitation for i have UNLIMITED sms now :D:D

Around 11am, God locked my decision of whether should i go to arrow or nt.. Young msg me and said that he's bored.. Planned to go to watch movie, but i thought that it wont be bad to try to ask whether he want to come to arrow or not.. And to my amazement, he agrees to accompany me, but he will need to pass his laptop to his godsis 1st.. So, we were going to meet up after he done with his stuff, and if there's still time, movie, then service..

He's only done at ard 2pm and he only can arrive at bishan at 3pm, and service is starting at 430pm.. So, no more movie.. Head down to suntec and called up derek and join caregroup for preservice and the service itself.. During preservice itself, i was looking around, half hoping that she's around, though hoping she's not around too.. I mean, i thought it's going to be awkward to meet her esp since she's trying so hard to avoid me.. Well, to my amazement, she was not there, or so i thought..

Sermon was nice.. Kinda got sleepy in the middle though.. Not sure why.. I mean, the message is actually talking about my condition more or less, and more often then not, it caught my attention really well.. But that's like for a while only before i change state to sleepiness again.. I think i shall pay more attention next time =x The post service praise and worship is awesome though.. More like, all praises songs which, somehow, make me really high on that moment and forget about all tiredness and sleepiness.. I was really enjoying it, until...........i turned left, and i saw someone was wearing something like what mt used to wear.. So out of curiousity, i looked up and try to catch the face.. And to my amazement, it IS her.. She definitely look a bit different with contacts, or maybe it's something else.. Or is it just becoz it have been sometimes since i saw her? In any case, i didnt put much thought about it anymore and continue enjoying the service till the end..

Had dinner with caregroup after service.. The last time i sat at that foodcourt was like almost 1 year ago.. That time, all poly cluster were sitting together in 1 whole line of tables, but this time, since it's only RP cluster, there's only a few of us, but honestly, it was a fun session.. We left earlier than them, since Young want to take the meatballs that he ordered from Indonesia from my house.. So, we head down to bishan with the intention of taking meatballs only.. But upon arrival, it's only around 9pm, and he said it'll be boring if he's going home straight, since he have no laptop for the night.. So, we decided that we'll juz go to arcade and play till 1 hour before last bus then head to my hse and then he go home..

Arcade closed at 10pm and we were being "chased out" of the shop, and we were walking home to get Young's meatballs.....till suddenly, Young realized he left his specs in arcade.. So, he ran back to the arcade just to find that it is closed and there is no way, to go in anymore.. So, instead of going home, he decided to stayover to my place and go to arcade to claim his specs at the 1st thing in the morning the next day..

So, we arrived home, and we rested and that is when i suppose to blog down all those things that happen ytd.. But laziness got over me again, and i postponed it till now.. So, for the consistency of events and wadever crap, im gonna stop here for ytd post and blog again later at night about today's even.. Till later..

==================================Day 27 without her===================================
You do look great when I saw you.. I was just wondering where's Ben.. I mean, did he not join you for service? After service, Young actually asked me, how come Ben is not with you or whether you'll be meeting him after the service.. And what came out from my mouth even shocked me a little bit: "Dude, I.dont.care"

2009-04-18T11:49:00.003+08:00

I juz woke up and i juz practically fiddling away with my new phone, so, let me just record down what happened ytd before i forgot about it then.. Again, with the recalling style, this post will be for ytd..

Woke up at around 9am, thanks to the alarm and apparently i cant go back to sleep anymore.. So, i went to check my msn and facebook, and guess wad? It's not only me who cant go back to sleep :D
Chatted with zakia for a while, and feeling very bored.. NO! it's not becoz she bores me, but becoz i think there's just no topic we could talk about at so early in the morning.. So i just check my facebook around or something..

Nothing's on at morning time, except for some warcraft campaign game.. and it really bores me AGAIN, for i've cleared it for heaven-knows-how-many times.. So i practically can even predict, what unit will be best to bring and where the enemy will attack from and such.. well, not all of the time, but most of the case..wel

Afternoon came and I head down to Dhobby Gaut to meet up with Jing Wen.. Met up to settle the phone plan that i've been dying to get.. I'm in power 100 (or izzt power talk 100?) Well, in any case, i changed my number alrd.. It's 9066-4325.. I'll spam msg to u guys later though, but this is just in case if i missed out you guys number.. And to come along with it, i bought a new phone under contract.. It's SE W595 series.. Quite ironic that in the shop i told Jing Wen that i'm going to take care of this new phone well and when the starhub employee pass it for me to check, it kinda slipped out of my hand and ALMOST fall down to the ground.. Haha!! Walked around PS and to cathay cineplex after that as we chat.. It have been some time since we actually meet up, and she still doesnt changed.. As lame as ever :D But i guess that's what make us 'clicked'

Head down to Boon Lay after that to meet up with lynn.. It was a pleasant meeting and she's taller than what i expected =x Or izzt becoz the last girl that i recently knew, that will be mt, is shorter than what i expected? In any case, we had dinner at jurong point.. It was uber crowded, i swear.. We had to even share tables with other people.. Lynn is pretty interesting though, it's like i went to get my drink and when i came back to our table, i saw her practically chatting with the total strangers she just met.. I mean, sociable is one thing, this is uber sociable sia! haha!

Watched movie after that.. 17 again.. Lynn was excited and said the movie is uber nice.. To me, i think the movie is an ok with the rating of 3/5.. I mean, ok, the movie is nice, story is funny, actor's good and stuff like that.. But the thing happens in the movie is kinda out of logic.. Time travelling? Maelstorm in New York's river? A bit crappish if you ask me, but then again, it's a fictional movie, so yeah..

Reached home only at 12+ and i straightyly went online in skype and join my mates to defend the ancients civilization.. There are new heroes in the ai version we played.. Some are good, and some are, well...bad.. Or maybe we just dont know how to use it yet.. Fun map.. Should've try it again later..

==================================Day 26 without her===================================
Quite ironic, when i'm still typing the number 10+, i cant wait for it to end.. Now, when it's 26 alrd, somehow, i cant bear to look forward

PS: I will update what happen today at night later

2009-04-16T20:17:00.002+08:00

Yet another exciting day and fun day just passed by.. I cant imagine that time really flies when you really enjoy ur time cheaply :D Let me juz elaborate then..

I knew i wont be able to wake up early today, since i played dota till late at night ytd.. So, guess what i do, i set 3 consecutive alarm which is at 8am, 830 and 845am.. 3 layer of defense, i call it.. Haha! Well, i woke up on the 2nd line.. That will be 830am.. And i bathe and pack up and get ready for the day..

Armed with new hoodies in new sling bag and American Gods book, i march on toward the bus stop and head to jurong east with the hope that my friends will be all ready alrd.. My hunch told me to call them to ask them to get ready by the time i reach bishan mrt, but i shrug it off, thinking that it'll juz make me as if im rushing them while im still at bishan.. So i decided to just listen to music and head to jurong east by myself 1st.. But for the umpteenth time, my hunch prove me right again.. By the time i reached jurong, all my friends are still at home and the one that's ready to leave the house is only sc.. So i asked him to head down to jurong straight.,

Head down to clementi AGAIN to the lan shop.. We really are tempted with the promotion.. 3 hours for only 3 dollars! Upon arrival, we played L4D straight.. Oh anw, today's member is me, youngly, wj and sc.. Though sc can only stay for a while though, since he need to go back to msia.. You can really tell that sc is addicted, i mean, 1-2 hours is really not enuff to play L4D, and yet, he still insist he want to go juz to shoot some zombie ass.. Haha!! But it really is fun! :D

Well, nothing much happen today alrd actually.. Coz almost the whole day i camp in the lan shop.. It might sounds boring, but when you play it with your friends and feel the excitement, nothing can stop you but devine intervention :D

When i walked home though, as i listen to the GC songs that i transfered to phone, memories start flashing through my mind.. No, it's not abt mt, but abt Sue.. I was walking pass KCSS and as i run my fingers through the fence, suddenly the memories become so vivid.. It was afternoon and she told me that she's sick that day.. And when i called her, her voice really was heavy, like those type that you'll have when you have bad flu.. I used to call her princess and i still can remember what i ask her that day on that moment on that spot "So, princess is finally having some common people food?" i asked teasingly "Haha! Yeah, and since my royal maid is not here, I need to cook myself loh! So, it's not just some common porridge, kay?!" she answered kiddingly too.. And as i recalled that, it make me think.. That's like almost 2 years ago incident alrd, and i still can remember it so clearly.. It makes me wonder that will what i talked to mt at certain spots of singapore will be recorded so strongly in my mind too? Well, about that, we'll see next time :D

==================================Day 25 without her===================================
I used to say "time flies when you enjoy it" and this time, time does really flies for me too.. Suddenly only, i need to type 25 alrd.. Does this mean i really enjoy this also? I really do wonder..

2009-04-15T22:47:00.002+08:00

Im exhausted now.. Been out since morning till late at night -.- Lots of exciting stuffs happen today, and it really make me think "perhaps, i really can do this.. It doesnt seems tough at all" That is, if you know what i mean by that statements..

My day starts kinda early today.. Somehow, I can woke up early though.. I reached woodlands by 10am, like how i've said clearly to both Youngly and Shao Cheng.. Young reached a bit late, but the late are still bearable one, but sc's late, is like 30 mins late.. When i called him after i reached woodlands, he still dare to tell me "oh, im still at home.. Sorry sorry" Typical malaysian... HAHA!!

Head down to RP after that.. Apparently, today is the 1st day of orientation for those 1st year student (read: newb).. I think I just found the 1st advantage after breaking up.. Now, i can really feel free to check out the girls without feeling guilty! :D:D And to top it off, it's not only me who do that, Young's eyes are even more sharper, which make the hunts goes really really fun. Haha!! Ok, kinda got sidetracked.. After configuring laptop and changing the pw, we head down to xbox room and play xbox game.. Seems like Sc are nt used to play console game so it's up to me and Young to save the world.. The game: Halo 3..

By the time we done playing, time flies really fast and my watch starts to beep, indicating that it's 3.10pm alrd.. We head out for lunch in canteen before we went to have a survey.. Why i do survey you ask? The ans is coz they give out a lovely 10 bucks just for 45 mins of my time that i'm gladly to waste.. How's that? :D

Used that 10 bucks to bought headset in causeway after that.. Well, it's a cheapo one, but as long as it's useable, who cares? And honestly speaking, by then, im kinda a bit lazy to go to lan which is in clementi alrd, but sc's going back to msia 2mr alrd, so he wont be able to play with us.. So, me, wj and sc head down to clementi to visit this legendary lan shop which wj claim only cost 1.5 per hour..

To my disappointment, wj's claim is out-to-date alrd.. Promotion's over and it's actually costing us 2.5 per hour.. So how? What you mean so how? I'm definitely not coming all over to clementi just to face 2.5 per hour and go back to bishan without playing -.- So we sit down there and payed 1 hour game time 1st, thinking that we wont be long playing.. But apparently, assumptions always prove me wrong

We played Left 4 Dead.. Sc still a beginner, so wj and me does all the job to take the damage and deal the damage from both the zombie AND sc -.- I think out of 10 bullets sc shot, around 4-5 bullets nested on my back instead.. But well, he's a quick learner.. It took me really quite some time to learn the movement system when the 1st time i learn to play cs, and by the end of the game session, sc knew how to assist, move around, pick up items and all alrd.. Definitely a fast learner.. Next thing we need to teach him is to differentiate human and zombies only :P Anw, we played that for almost 3 hours.. To think still want to play for 1 hour only... That also becoz it's getting too late and i really need to head home alrd, before my parents skin me alive.. Well, doesnt matter, 2mr im still going to play with my friends....AGAIN :D

I was walking home instead of taking bus when i reached bishan, with new headset plugged into my ears while my phone played those old songs that i stored in my phone.. The chilly night wind and the emo songs that i stored into the phone bring my mind back to past again.. Funny things is, I'm not even thinking and regreting that we broke up alrd, coz i asked myself, if i were still together with her right now, is it even possible for me to go to lan till this kind of time and walk home so relaxly while thinking of her? It'll be most likely for me to hurry home while smsing her if we were still together.. It really have been awhile since i actually walk and enjoy the walk

Overall, i really had fun today and i'm really looking forward for 2mr

==================================Day 24 without her===================================
I read ur blog recently, and im really glad that you are doing really well, though im a bit disappointed at the change of your language.. You used to stop me saying the f word and though it's hard for me at beginning, i begin to use it lesser and lesser.. And now, when i see you typing it out like as if it's a totally normal word to use, it really sadden me.. I asked myself constantly, what are you actually trying to prove acting like that? Are you trying to say "im the new mt now! more vicious and more aggresive"? Coz all it seems to me is more like you are the old mt but trying to look more like an ah lian that you used to be so despised.. It's 24 days alrd, and time is really running short alrd.. Dont get worse and worse le.. I'll still think of you when i feel like thinking of you.. :)

2009-04-14T16:06:00.002+08:00

70th post!! Mm, kinda skipped 2 days of recording didnt i? Well, I can explain myself, honest!
Wj, sinting and me really had a blast in Indonesia and we really had lots and lots of food there that by the time we are back to hotel, we really really are exhausted and tired.. So, pardon me for not recording it down these 2 days.. Anw, u can juz see sc or wj's blog for the things we done in Indo for the past 2 days.. Im freaking sure that they will blog it down one..

Anw, lets start about today then.. If you want me to summarize it, i can find a very very suitable word for it: "EXHAUSTING".. If you want the details, carry on reading..

I was dreaming about something, when suddenly hell break loose.. I heard the morning call ringing and wj pick up and say "yes" or something like that and not long after that, the alarm on my phone ring.. It's like suddenly become so noisy that i cant even go back to sleep.. Want to know wad make it worse? That inicident happen at FIVE am Indo time.. I mean, i know that's the time we need to wake up, but i still cant believe im up and cant go back to sleep at 5.. Well, we get ready and all and we leave hotel at 6am when my parents came to fetch us

Had lunch in airport after that.. And head toward mrt station to meet my cousin and also go back home.. But apparently, my cousin also need to go to bishan, and she said there's a direct bus.. So, i left wj and sc alone for their "quality time" and went to take bus with my cousin to bishan instead.. I thought i'll sleep all the way in the bus, but apparently, my cousin proves out to be a really good accompaniance.. We crap almost all the way, and before we knew it, we are at bishan alrd.. That's really awesome..

Walk for a while, till i reach my block, and when i saw the bench on the void deck, it's like as if i still can see me and mt sitting there juz before i go back Indonesia last last time.. I shrugged the thought off and cont walking to the lift and finally, home! When i enter my house, I have this weird feeling as if my hse is somewhere alien and yet familiar.. Haha, that is if you guys get what i mean =x

Entered my room to unpack my stuff and when I enter the room, idk why, but it's like the emotions are back again.. Like suddenly i still cant believe i broke up with mt alrd and stuff like that.. I didnt want to put much thought about it and i went to wash up.. Well, it works, after the shower, i have that "meh,doesnt matter! She's no one alrd anw -.-" attitude back again.. Speaking abt the idc attitude, it's like suddenly I can laugh at my own patheticness last time alrd.. I mean, wad zakia say is right, wtf do I mean by travel against time while she move on alrd? How the fuck does that make sense? A hunt is a hunt, does it mean you catch something alrd, then when it escape alrd, the next hunt will be the same hunt as last hunt? -.- Haha, sry guys for giving u guys such a hard time for the past few weeks.. :D:D

To tell the truth, as i type this, and need to recall back what i done and see and feel just now, it does make me a bit melancholic again, but well, idc.. Haha

==================================Day 23 without her===================================
Im tired....of recalling and keep dragging

2009-04-11T19:25:00.003+08:00

OKAY! Finally about today.. Lets seeeeee....

Went for breakfast on the morning, around 7am with my parents, and after that, i tend the shop for a while.. Like those pack stuff job and all..

10am come and sinting called me that they are boarding the plane alrd.. YES!! THEY ARE COMING TODAY!! IN FACT, AS IM TYPING NOW, THEY ARE DISCUSSING SOMETHING IN CHINESE IN A VERY FAST PACE!! Tsk tsk, unsensitive bastards... HAHAHAHA!!

Anw, anw, lemme cont 1st :D
me and my dad went to airport to fetch them from airport and the next thing is we get checked in to the hotel in the heart of the town.. By the time we are settled and everything, we are pretty starving alrd, and i ask my dad to drop us in 1 of the mall.. We had pizza........ok, TWO pizzas,and soup, and garlic bread and drinks, and to top it off, WITH CHEAP PRICE!! check sinting's blog and he'll elaborate in more detail.. Went to arcade for a while after that, to let us digest abit, before we went to another snack junction..

We head to a "food court" to have mie rebus after that, and ice cendol.. Wj dont really enjoy it, but sc is like 'vaccum-ing' all the food.. Haha!! At least that gave me a bit sense of relieve that im nt being a bad host.. At least they are satisfied with what i had for them.. haha!! But then again, what is Pekanbaru if not food paradise? Haha!!

Ok, my dad just called and me and wj and sinting need to head down alrd for dinner.. Then, i guess i'll blog more again later! CYA!

==================================Day 20 without her===================================
FOOD!!!

2009-04-11T19:08:00.002+08:00

Hello Hello!! Im back again (to blog, lynn,to blog :D).. Lets see, i dont have time to blog ytd, so, yeah, i'll juz blog abt ytd now.. Same style, i'll post 2 posts and this post will be suppose to be for 2mr one..

Say...Lets see, it's good friday today.. and when i woke up in the morning, i tried to go back sleep again, but i cant.. So, i decided to talk to God a bit.. He revelate to me again yet another interesting point that will help me in life.. I cant really remember what we talked about anymore, but I am sure, it change my point of view of certain doubt of mine..

In any case, we had dim sum for breakfast.. Yeah, me and my family.. Meh, my effort to "diet" for 2 weeks, all gone by 2 days of mass eating.. Ah well, when i go back to sg, then i'll start dieting again then.. Haha!!

Afternoon came and me and my family went to my cousin house.. Heh, quite some time since i saw her alrd.. We chat up and exchange stories about school and everything.. Haha!! Her new house is really nice and spacy! Not to mention, her house complex have a swimming pool which is juz located like right behind her house!! And since the complex is not fully sold yet, so, not much ppl using it and it gave the impression that the swimming pool is like her own! Neahz, dont have the chance to go swim there, but i'm quite sure the experience to have a swimming pool behind ur hse is a pretty amazing one!

Night time came, and me and my family went out for dinner, with my cousin family too.. It's coz her aunt, which is like my dad's cousin came over to my town and stay at her house, and my dad thought of treating them to dinner and thus....voila.. It was quite a feast.. It's like we order everything per 2 portion.. Awesome dinner!!

Ok, i'm just going to cut the post short since i cant rem much anymore about ytd.. Damn the laziness within me to go online ytd.. Ah well, future me, u are just need to live with it.. Who ask your past self not so dilligent? O_o

==================================Day 19 without her===================================
*Yawn*

2009-04-09T20:19:00.002+08:00

Hello Hello!! :D Gosh, i really am happy today.. Wake up late, got all the stuff i need to get, wad else can i ask for? Haha!! So, lemme get into detail then

Woke up quite early this morning, thanks to that freaking intense fight dream.. It's like those half awake, half asleep type of dream where you know you kinda awake, but the dream is still vivid and u still want to dream.. That's what happen to me today, kinda woke up, and when i'm about to deliver a high kick, i kinda kicked the wall which wake me up instantly.. Kinda retarded, i know.. Anw, that's like ard 6am indo time, and i decided to go back to sleep.. But when i try to go back to sleep, idk why and how, i kinda dreamt and thought of her again.. Meh, wad a disappointment.. Anw, after some toss and turn, i decided that im nt gonna sleep anymore, so i just woke up and watch some tv show till my dad came in and ask me to get ready for the day

1st thing we do once we are out of the house is........breakfast definitely! haha!! Yeah, well, it's kinda 11am, and i'm nt sure what to call that meal is but oh well, me and my family kinda famished by then, and we just went to have some breakfast.. Wonton noodle is wad we had (however u spell it lah hor).. Straight after that, i went over to the saloon which is just like the opposite of where we had our breakfast.. Cut my hair shorter and dye it up.. IMO, i kinda look like SS I or II of Goku.. Well, at least for now.. When it grow longer alrd, idk wad it'll look like.. HAHA.. Most importantly, i thought it's going to be boring when the dying process took place, but apparently, onlining with my phone cures it.. Thx Zakia and Young :D HAHA

It took ard 2 hours for everything to be done, and by the time it's done it's ard 2pm Indo time.. So, me and my family head to the shopping mall for the rest of my stuff.. Initially, i cant find the hoodie that i wanted :( so, we went around to find my new sling bag, which also gone from the shop alrd.. By then, im really kinda pissed coz i thought, i wont be able to get what i want anymore.. Oh, bt u know wad? He really had a great sense of humor.. We went ard the mall, finding the next item: shoes.. And in that sports store, u know what i found? The bag that i wanted from the previous shop! And to top it off, that shop offer 20% discount if i buy 2 stuffs at 1 go! So, not only i found my "lost" bag, i got yet another 20% disc for my bag AND my shoe! Woweee!! Haha!!

*tik tok tik tok* time's ard 3pm by then, and my dad said he wanna sit ard cafe for tea break, and we sat ard excelso and ordered a few.....foodstuffs? I mean, i know there is this term for it, but i cant think of it now.. so, yeah.. The food come around kinda late, and by the time we finished our food, it's ard 5pm alrd, and we decided not to have dinner anymore, for we are EXTREMELY full by then..

My watch indicate 7pm sg time, which is 6pm Indo time by the time we reach next shopping mall to find my hoodies.. Went to yet another sports station, and found this billabong jacket.. Looks nice and material's good.. So, within the next 5 min, the hoodies transfered from the hanger to the shopping bag and we decided to head back home alrd..

After some detour to get my dad's medicine and dinner (just bread and some stuffs, he said he's still hungry), we arrive home ard 7pm Indo time.. And, boy, am i tired or am i tired? 2mr's good friday (DONT LOOK AT ME IF IM WRONG, THAT'S WHAT KRISTY SAID!! =x) and in my head now, the hillsong's song called "Shout unto God" song keeps playing and playing.. It juz played in my head suddenly just like that.. Weird eh? But i like it.. haha!!

Oh, last but not least, seems like God trying to tell me something AGAIN.. This time, from a radio telecast.. It was saying abt this man, who walk around a mall and saw this jacket.. When he ask for the price, the seller say 400k rupiah, and he bargain it to 250k rupiah.. The seller keep refusing, and yet lower the price, till 285k rupiah finally.. And yet, this man still refuse it.. Then, his wife ask "Hon, are you not sad and regret that you didnt buy that jacket? I mean, it's only 25k diff only" and he said "nope, why would i? initially when i walk around the mall, i have no intention to get it.. I only have the intention to get it when i saw the jacket, and yet, i cant get it with the price I desired.. So, all i need to do is juz forget about it totally and be like how I am before i saw that jacket"

At this point, Lord talked to me and revelate to me this point "Heard that? Think about it, initially, you have not much intention either to have a gf or wadsover.. So, now you broke up, which means, she is not what you desired - a girl that also seek long term relationship, so all you need to do is just forget about her, and revert your emotion back to 1 year ago - a state where you only want some fun and chase after girls and fool around."

At this point, all i can do is just nod silently and agree with Him.. I really miss my old self, the William that said "What's a gf really for? I mean, we have friends and all to do the 'gf job'.." and stuffs like that.. I know it's nt gonna be easy to be that old self again, but im sure, if raditya can, and other people can, so will William :D:D HAHAHA!!

PS: I would really really like to include the "Shout unto God" song in this post, but indo inet slowness really prevent me from doing it.. So, if you wanna hear it, go youtube and find it.. It's really really really awesome and spirit stirring song :D

==================================Day 18 without her===================================
*tik tok tik tok* time goes kinda slow.. :( HURRY THE FUCK UP!!

2009-04-08T18:52:00.002+08:00

Ok, honestly, what you guys want me to blog if it's nt abt myself? I mean, this is my blog, and im suppose to blog about someone else? Zakia, zakia, i still rem wad u thaught me and i wont fall for ur trick.. "If you're gonna care of what people have to say; you cant LIVE your life" So, i wont care about wad you guys gonna say and still gonna cont to blog abt wad happen to me daily :D

Today's kinda the last day of me working "full time" on the shop alrd, for there will be holidays for the next 2 days. 2mr (9/4/09) will be election day in Indonesia but me and my parents decided not to give a damn about who is chosen and all, so we are nt gonna vote. And the day after will be the death of Christ day, which i forgot what's the special name for it.. Go ahead and condemn me and say "boo, wad a bad christian you are!" and all, but,quotting for my friend's phrase "you think i care what you say??" HAHA!! For whoever that gets it, feel free to LAUGH again :D

Well, anw, like i say, it's the last day of me working full time today, and by Sat, Wj and Sinting gonna come over alrd, and i only need to work halfday.. Wew!! Time flew really fast! haha!! Ok, while we are on the "last day" topic, this is also the last day of me having black hair.. Yeah, im gonna dye my hair and cut it up 2mr.. 2mr will be the, lets say, "makeover" day? Okay, well, nt that extreme, juz slight changes, like cutting hair, dying hair, new jacket, new sling bag and new shoes.. Gonna be a busy day 2mr.. Meh

Anw, lets recap today.. It's an extremely busy day today.. I dont know how and i dont know why either. For i thought, if the all the delivery cars left the shop alrd, that means no more stuff to do (read: extreme slacking for the day) But the jokes on me and instead of the whole day slacking, i need to lift stuffs up and down and pack more stuffs.. Yeah, yeah, u guys might thought "wait, isnt that wad u usually do everyday?" well, yeah, but today is even MORE.. By ard 2-3pm, im really drained up and juz can sit down on the chair lifelessly.. *Groan*

To top it off, idk why, but suddenly my phone cant access inet anymore, and that means, i cant get online on phone or wadsover anymore! To.be.cut.off.from.inet.is.a.real.pain.in.the.ass.. It's like, suddenly you are isolated from civilization and everything goes back to primitive way to communicate!! Huh? What kind of primitive way u asking? *cough* well......sms? =x Yeah, well, u get my drift...or at least that's what i hope, else, go knock ur head 3 times on the wall, and u should get what i mean alrd..

Okay okay, that sums today's event alrd.. Cant wait for 2mr.. ;)

==================================Day 17 without her===================================
Doing fine and doing great.. Rock on dude!

2009-04-07T17:23:00.002+08:00

Wow, Tuesday alrd.. Suppose to go out with my cousin today, but she cant make it, and same goes with me.. She need to stay at home for her facial medicine wadever thingy to dry off, while there is no car available for me to drive.. So, today went as per normal.. Take-care-of-the-shop type of day..

Well, at least today's nt that boring.. Went online at afternoon and saw zakia and we start crapping and discussing about BMDP.. Gave quite a point and quite an interesting opinion there.. Well, wadever it is, i cant be bothered anymore.. Need to go offline not long after that for lunch.. After lunch though, i get online again on phone and talked to her a bit again, and she need to go off nt long after.. Saw Sud after that, and i start discussing with him again.. Well, instead of slapping me, he gave me a pat in the back instead.. So, to all authorized personel, i hereby declare that BMDP is a no go.. Sry to trouble you guys so much and cancelling it suddenly like that.. Ah well..

Cruising around ppl's blog and i found out something very funny.. Apparently, some dogs if challenged face to face, will not fight and pretend to act cool and walk away.. But behind the back, they'll start barking out loud, pretending that they won over the situation and comes out as a victor and make people say "Wow...that dog's brave! Bark so loud!" But honestly guys.....they dont bite.. So please, dont be so afraid of this kind of dogs.. Yeah? :D

Huh? Wad's that? Wad breed u ask? Okay, lemme brief u guys a bit about dogs then (Lynn, see! it's not only about my daily life! I even include infos about dogs!) So you see, i dont know wad breed of dog is this, for it is so rare, and yet it still exist among us.. What i can tell you and brief you is the attitude of the dogs.. *cough* shall we begin the lecture then?

A few examples that I can pick are:

They like to challange others 1st. So, what you mean by this prof?

Okay, lemme tell u 1st.. Will is good, no need for the prof.. Okay, so, in this scenario, the dog will pretend to be cool and all aggresive.. Barks a lot, often scold fuck like no body business.. Oh shit, did i juz left the biggest clue?? Well, like i say, at this stage, they are aggresive till you thought they'll bite you.. Even i thought that it will bite me, but guess what? When i shout at it a bit, it ran with tails between the leg! Amazed?? I mean, WOW! It barks like the whole world dogs bark put together, and when u shout a bit, it ran!! Well, that's not all, next point is

They try to take revenge

"So, they ran and they take revenge? How?" Is that what goes in ur mind? Well, now, the dog know that it cant win face to face battle alrd, so, how is he, oops, i mean, it, going to impress it's surroundings then? Guess guess, how?? Exactly, if u cant go higher, u make other looks like they go lower.. And in this case, this dog will try to boast around his other exploits that he achieved alrd, which totally have no link with the fight he lost previously.. So he'll go "Oh! I won the bowling contest!" while the real fight is actually about....well, something else.. Sigh...gentleman, oh oops, gentleDOG much? Tsk tsk

Final point.. Now, they try to turn the whole situation story to suit himself

At this stage, what the dog will try to do will be trying to attack the opponent back again with facts that he didnt even know.. Like for example, quoting from what it ever said "...has his 1st gf".. Ok, this dog is trying to talk about me.. Hmm? Amazed that dogs talk to me? Yeah, well, this dog is somewhat idiotically genius.. My point is, he didnt even know his fact, and he try to fight back this way.. This is honestly a freaking stupid move.. Sigh...dogs nowadays.. They juz try so hard to be human that they didnt realize that they cant...they simply cant...

Well, that conclude my whole presentation about dogs.. *bow* thank you for ur kind attention.. Oh oh, did i mention that this breed of dog like to look mature? without knowing that when they do that, they are juz making themself looking more and more immature? Yes yes, if u guys know who/what im talking about, you guys prolly having a good laugh now.. So, give me some credits yeah? :D

==================================Day 16 without her===================================

Havent had so much fun since i came back from singapore.. *snicker*

2009-04-06T16:33:00.003+08:00

Wowee! Yet another early release by the boss aka my mum.. Anw, lets record down wad i wanna say yeah?

Read finish the raditya dika book that i bought ytd.. In this book, yet i feel like God trying to tell me something again.. This is not like the 1st time, i mean, GC told me the same thing, and nw Dika tell me the same thing? more than coincidence dude.. Well, wad they told me is this: to let go.. Lemme share you this story of Dika.. (Eh, no, im not plagirising! im juz sharing, honest!)

In this story of his, he said, he was sitting in a waiting room and he saw a few ppl in it.. he saw an african ppl, a caucasian lover, and someone else (i cant rem).. Then he said "to me, everyone here is just normal.. I mean, you see them, they really are normal.. But how you know what's inside? Maybe the african is someone who have terminal disease? or maybe the couple just fought 1 months ago and almost broke up? But you wont know, coz human just seems like that from the outside.. Same goes for me.. People will see me as the cheerful, all-smile, dika.. But they wont know, that i just broke up last week" At this point, i thought "wow..true.. human tends to put on hard case, trying to be something they arent that no one actually know wad's happening inside.." Anw, cont on

"Your friends and ppl who talk to you, whenever you tell them abt the problem you face, most often they'll say 'yeah i understand how you feel' but NO! Truth is they dont know! How will they know about how you feel? the pain and all??" and at this point, it dawned at me again "Maybe he's right again.. Think about it, when i dont feel it, i tell my friend this and that, advicing them not to be down and all.. And i can do that becoz im nt feeling wad she's feeling. Now when im in her condition, i realize, almost all the stuff that i said, it didnt work"

And the final and most important piece that i think really struck me is "Coz that's how human work.. They dont care about what happen to you.. Your prob, is your prob.. And while we still facing the prob, people move on.. And if you dont move on, you got left behind" at this point, i realize.."there's someone else out there that feel the same" (haha, zakia, recalled this line?) and that means, it really is time for me to pull myself together alrd.. I realize, yeah, being with mt is fun, i mean, honestly, going almost everywhere in sg, travelling here and there, skipping schools and all.. But how long do i want to be trapped in that coconut shell instead of looking at the whole world that's larger than that shell? It may nt be instantenous, the forgetting and let go part, but from this point onward, it will be much easier for me alrd..

And thus, im going to change my "count up" title to:

==================================Day 16 without her===================================

How fun is replacing and modifying memory? It's like, you are just doing stuffs to forget abt me, but will you?

2009-04-06T13:04:00.002+08:00

Lunch break, and my mum let me use inet coz she havent finish cooking yet.. Ah well, short recap on what happened juz now and wad i forgot to blog ytd then..

Today starts out fine, like those typical morning, except my parents drag me out of bed early in the morning and ask me to have breakfast with them.. It aint that bad, i mean, go out and all.. at least not until i reach the coffee shop and saw the calender that's hanging on the wall.. It said "6 April".. It dampens my mood greatly.. To other people, it's juz yet another 6th of something.. Maybe even to her now, it's juz yet another 6 something.. Why bother? I know i promised myself to let go alrd, but at times, stuffs like this still triggers memories.. Like how 25 something will trigger my memory too.. Ah well, back to my shop after that.. Time kinda flies fast after that.. Usuall stuff, pack some stuffs, lift some goods, and before i know it, 11am alrd.. Wew, i hope next few days its going to be like this also

Next, i just go online with my phone.. Talk to some of my friends and check my blog and all.. It's amazing wad you can do with a phone that can access to inet.. Haha!! Oh yeah, forgot to blog it down ytd.. The phone straps that i go on my phone, the straps finally broke off from the chain.. Tsk, such a disappointment.. Thought it's gonna last.. *Sigh* And when it broke, wad ran in my head is like that scene in Bridge to Terabithia.. When the enchanted rope broke off that part.. "It cant be.. It cant juz break like that.. It's impossible" Honest, that's wad in my mind.. juz for a while though.. Haha!!

PS: To all authorized personel.. I'm seriously thinking of cancelling BDMP.. Give me your opinion...IN PRIVATE. Thanks a lot

2009-04-05T17:31:00.002+08:00

Sunday finally.. That means, 5 more days slaving in the shop, and i'll be over to the hotel with Wj and Sinting alrd.. Wew!

Went out from morning today with family.. Cruising around in the car, stopping every now and then juz to eat and eat and eat.. Gosh, I'm sure going to put on some weight.. But then again, what is Indo, if not because of the food.. Haha!! Went shopping after that, for groceries and all.. And I swear, in Indo, once my parents means shopping for groceries, it's almost same as "lets rob the whole shop off and leave them with almost no stock" Really....insane shopping spree -.-

Now, it's 5pm Indo time, and I need to sit all alone here at home.. Coz my parents went massaging and all.. That doesnt sounds bad is it? Here come the worse part: with the risk that there will be a blackout within 1 or 2 hour time.. More bad news: My parents will only be back around 7-8pm.. If this is sg, nope, it wont sound bad.. Why will it sound bad? Blackout, call some friends, went out till dawn, come back home with an innocent face and say "But there is blackout...." In Indo, gosh, it's like, im trapped at home with nothing to do except to stare at blank spaces in the darknes.. Wad's lacking is a razor knife and some slits on my wrists and i'll be the same as....well, you figured it out..

Anw, good news is I juz bought the final book of Raditya Dika that previously i didnt have.. And right after this, if nothing else happen, i'll finish it off at 1 go :D Ah...Indo's such a paradise, if only without the parents, boredom, restriction, etc etc..

Ok.. I guess this will be all for today.. I'm full, I'm tired, and I'm going to read finish my new book and watch finish the dvds that i rent juz now.. And here comes Zakia.. Well, i guess i'll juz talk to her 1st then.. Till my next post, cya!

==================================Day 15 after break up===================================

No data. except.."OMFG" *shake head*

2009-04-04T17:10:00.002+08:00

Woo!! Finally it's weekend here.. Yeah yeah, wise-asses, you guys probably say, "woot the fark? Weekend start ytd dumbass" Well, here's a news for you, Indo work for 6 fucking working day, so dont push it, lazy ass.. :D

My mum let me up early today.. Guess i irritated her much down in the office.. Haha!! Not complaining though, except i need to blog a little bit early, which means, the day's not ending yet, and yet, im recording it alrd.. So, might miss some part of it.. Well, lets have a quick recap on the day, shall we?

Morning ends rather fast today.. 2 cars need to left to transport goods out, and we need to do final check on the stuffs that the employee load ytd.. It took quite a while, and by the time I'm done, my dad need to go out of town alrd, and i need to take care of the shop.. Well, packed some stuffs for 2 stores and by then, it's alrd 10am in the morning.. And, if u forget, driving lesson start at 10, so yeah... Drove around the city, for the last time with that plate saying that I'm still learning.. 15 hours of learning to drive, finally end with "You are doing fine, just keep it this way and drive carefully yeah?" from the instructor.. I FINALLY cleared my driving lesson!! Psyched!

Afternoon went rather.....idk.. Slo-ast? Well, it's really boring at beginning, and it get quite interesting in the end.. Done almost all the job that need to be done by ard 2pm, and juz need to check the stock in my shop, and it's done by ard 3.. By then, i have tons of time to bug my mum till she cant take it and let me up by 4pm.. Heh, maybe should do this again on Mon.. =x

It's sat today, so, gonna have dinner with family later on.. 2mr will be a long day though.. Gonna buy all those stuff i need to buy (i think..) else it will be on the other day when we have holiday.. Ah well, back-to-school shopping, here I come.. Haha!!

Well, cant online for long now.. Meh, damn the not-unlimited inet -.-

==================================Day 15 after break up===================================

No data.

2009-04-03T18:45:00.002+08:00

Okay.. It's 6pm Indo time both Sud and Zakia is not online.. Grr, where are u guys???

Anw, do you guys ever feel that time move reaaaallly slow? Like, you thought you done lots of stuffs alrd, and when u looked at the time, woot! only 5 minutes have passed?! Ever feel like that? That is exactly what happen to me this morning.. Done moving the stuffs out from warehouse to shop, done helping with moving the cars out and everything, and it's only 10 mins.. Like, wtf??

Driving lesson today is at 10am, and it's a 2 hour session.. I want to juz finish it ASAP.. Coz honestly, next week will be kinda busy with all the outings.. It went well today, i guess.. Except for the turning and all.. I juz hope 2mr, the final lesson, will really go smoothly.. As in, u know, it's final alrd, dont want to screw it up before i drive my own car.. Hope it will be good 2mr then..

Afternoon went rather fast.. Employee start to give attitude and try to go on "strike".. Dad ask me to handle it and.....not try to boast, but im proud of myself :D Haha! It went well, and all the stuffs loaded on time before the shop need to close.. Wew, He told me it's going to be a long day today, and indeed it's a long day today.. Hope 2mr can be over a little more...faster.. haha!!

==================================Day 14 after break up===================================

U lied to me and u know yourself what you are lying to me about.. If you remembered that i told you that i hate to know people who betray me, and lying is betraying of trust, and you done it with the thought so that i can forget about you and give up on you, you have certainly succeed.. Thanks for all the time you have spent with me all along.. To think i still thought you are someone who's "respectable" and "cautious" and all.. You disappoint me, just like how I've disappoint myself..

2009-04-02T20:43:00.005+08:00

Wew, end of the day finally.. Been a long and tiring day today.. Was in shop for most of the day today (like its gonna change next time -.-), lots of our order came today, and me and the rest of the employee, almost literally work non stop to juz arrange the stuffs and all.. Quite fun though, at least it's kind of form of sports =x haha!!

Had a great argument with my mum juz now.. Same old same old.. I always told people, when argue, who lost his cool, he lost the arguement, and that's the way i kinda win over ben in his stupid flame war.. But honestly, i think ben really really should learn from my parents.. I mean, seriously, no matter how cool am i, they will confirm make me blew my steam off at 1 point.. and i mean ALWAYS!! Ah well, at least the issue is gone now alrd..

Talking to Sud now as im typing this blog.. He raised an interesting qn actually.. Ah, how i miss him... Damn you for not coming back to sg this year!!

==================================Day 13 after break up===================================

Wew, wad a bad number... Oh well, i find it particulary weird, when im stuck in Indo now and stuck in Indo 1 month ago.. 1 month ago, days passed so lightly with me only thinking abt you occasionally, spent most of my time with Tim and all.. And now, after we broke up, almost everytime i'm doing nothing, my mind will always race back to the time when we are together.. Haha, does that mean i really took u for granted last time?

I really feel like recording wadever you ever said last time, so that i will not forget it.. I cant remember much now, but perhaps, i'll keep on editting it till i can record most of it.. Here goes then (and it wont be in chronological order, so future me, try to link it up yourself, ur past is too lazy to edit it -.- Anw, if your feeling to her is true, you shouldnt even forget which goes 1st -.-):

She says "You are bored? What about accompanying me study then?! Wait, how does that will cure ur boredom?"
She says "I'm sorry, i really cant say I love you yet.. I promise i will though, one day"
She says "I always feel so special whenever i'm with you.. Thank you"
She says "You know, you know, I want us to be the ultimate couple!"
She says "Do you know why i didnt want to just get into relationship with you like how i get into 1 with my ex?? Coz that is mistake and I dont want us to be mistake"
She says "....and i'm not ready to lose you yet"
She says "Ooh! I cant wait for 2mr's sakae sushi's buffet!"
She says "When you ask me whether i want to cry or not just now, it's like within me, i know you really understand about me"
She says "Idk, it's not you.. Im just really tired of all this.. I just want to be single... And you'll ask me why im with ben then? it's becoz *******(no, im not gonna say why she's with ben -.-)
She says "Dont kiss me.. Just think about it as i hate you"
She whispers "I want to be your gf" (fine, for this, i'll give u chance, the future me -.-.. It happens on mrt, and it's the last day of her O's and you were late to school and only went for the 2nd meeting.. Coz i really really really dont want you to forget this..)
She says "well, i guess i'll talk to you again....on 2 weeks time? :)"

I think this is all i can remember for now.. At least, it's not a mind burden for me anymore, for i know, i can always refer to this if i want to remember abt her ;)

2009-04-01T20:11:00.002+08:00

Hello Hello!! I'm back again on the evening!! Haha!! So, i'll juz sums the day fast, since i cant stay online in inet for too long :D

So, i stopped on lunch juz now, so after that, not much happen actually.. I went down (yes, again..) to tend the shop, and at 1pm, my instructor came.. Hmm, it's nissan today.. Steering wheel is a bit....light? And the gear 1 acceleration (or wadever u guys wanna call it) is kinda...shaky.. Ah well, but once changed gear, it moves smoothly.. Quite a good car actually.. Perhaps it have been too long since i drive, i made quite some mistakes during turning.. Ah well, 5 more meetings to go.. Hope by then i can drive a car without me need to go hospital and have thousands of stitching -.-

After driving lessons, nothing much happen than just lifting some stuffs up and down the stairs juz to arrange them.. Supervise the employee loading things up for out-of-town trips and all.. Basically, im kinda the master of warehouse =x except perhaps, i'm more practical than my dad (practical in the sense of lifting stuffs myself also and all.. Lol!!) Cant let my parents know, else they really will kill me for doing that -.- Meh

Anw, anw, lots of people ask me not to do the "count-up" alrd, saying it'll juz make me more emo, well, lemme get this thing clear, No, i am NOT emo-ing when i'm recalling them.. For goodness sake, I'm juz recalling them for the sake of recalling.. For the sake of memories, cos honestly, i cant and i DONT want to let it go.. Read my much much previous post and u'll learn abt someone called Sue.. She's special, and so does MT.. (Jac, well, we kinda broke up..coldly and we also dont have much memories =x).. So, i'll juz cont my "count-up" :D:D

==================================Day 12 after break up===================================

It was a boring afternoon just now, and i ransack my whole phone to find some entertainment, and i came across some of the msges u sent me last time that i saved.. 5 entries on 1st July and 1 entry on 5th Oct.. Diff days, diff months, same msg meaning.. And i try to ask myself and compare you back then and compare you at present time.. I dont mean to make you look bad or wadsoever, honest.. But i really have no idea what you are doing now.. You said, you just want something new, i said (after i compare you back then and now) you are just trying to do a bungee jumping with wadever rope you can find.. Hey, ben, listen, no, i have nth against you when i'm writting this, k? This is just my opinion and comparison, so chill ur head off -.- dont need to get so worked up.. So, why i say so then? It's because, last time you still be able to use words like "So, why i didnt just get into relationship with you like how i go into 1 with my ex then? Coz last time is mistake, and i do not want us to be mistake" (1st july) or something like "Coz i do not want to settle for the less" (wad u say most of the time) and all things like that.. Somehow, i cant picture you as the "looking for the perfect guy" type of girl anymore, now instead you become "i grab whatever i can see".. Go ahead and answer "well, people change" and i'll answer "yeah, but none change to be worst than before"

2009-04-01T12:07:00.002+08:00

Okay, juz now's is for 2mr, here's today's :D

Woke up at around 8, and feel very cold.. I think i set the air con temp wrongly or something -.- Or perhaps, it's my body that start to adapt with sleeping without aircon.. To make thing worse, my bathroom's heater broke and i need to bathe with chilly water.. Gah! Starts my day....coldly =x

Went down for a cup of juice for my breakfast and went down to tend the shop.. Supposedly to have driving lessons at 9am, but the instructor is teaching someone at that time and can only make it on 1pm later.. Oh well, guess juz need to make do with it.. And today's april fool, sent a few msges to my friends and not much ppl reply (YOU GUYS KNEW WHO YOU ARE!! EITHER YOU ARE SMART, OR YOU ARE LAZY!! >:D)

I guess that's all that i can write for now, considering it's only 12pm in Indonesia now -.- Not to worry though, i'll still keep up the recording, either i'll try blog oncer a day, OR i'll juz store it in my phone 1st and blog it down the next time i'm able to blog again

PS: For all authorized personel: I think i have some fresh new idea to improve BMDP (more like only zakia will know wad's BMDP loh -.-)

==================================Day 12 after break up===================================

I was walking around the shop juz now, and i remembered, i even ever made a vid out of the shop coz you said you wanna see how my shop and house looked like.. How i'm tempted to open the gallery and watch that vid, but i decided against it, for i know, it wont do me any good.. And not only that, last time i used to scribbled ur initial wherever i go in the shop, and it sure brings back memories when i pass those places.. 12 days, and continue counting...

2009-04-01T11:46:00.004+08:00

Ah, finally, the taste of internet.. I thought can continue blogging through phone, coz even though Indonesia dont have wireless or uber fast inet, they have something that I can be proud off: 3G almost everywhere.. But recent heavy downpour in Indo (YES!! IT'S UBER HEAVY THAT MY HOUSE FRONT LAWN IS FLOODED!!), cause the signal to be unreachable from my house.. Meh, hope they can repair it soon.. Anw, since i cant blog ytd, i juz typed it down on my phone and saved it up.. And since today is today, and ytd is ytd, im going to use this post as ytd's post 1st

Here onward will be wad happen in my life on Tue 31/3/09:

I'm actually debating within myself whether I should record down today's event or not, but well, eventualy, I thought of juz recording it down.. Arrived at Indonesia at ard 11am sg time.. Went out for lunch straight after that and upon arrival at home, i only have time to unpack my stuffs and i need to tend the shop alrd.. So much for "lots of time to rest in Indo" Time flies quite fast actually after that.. I help to gather stuffs, pack it up, and basically do wad i usually do, but weird thing is, i enjoy it more this time..

Went out at night with family coz my mum want to buy new table for her new laptop, back to home not long after and stayed in room and enjoy a few dvd that i bought with tim last time and havent watched yet.. Well, quite boring day i know, but then again, wad u expect from Indo? :D

==================================Day 11 after break up===================================

Ah, at times i wonder, if only i didnt go back sg these last 2 weeks, will we still be together and still be together for longer time? These few days really make me think and wonder, perhaps, back on those days, i really didn't treat you as best as i could, and sure, at times, i even took you for granted, always thought you'll always be there when i need you.. Meh, for that, I'm sorry.. :(

2009-03-31T00:10:00.002+08:00

*yawn* meh, eyes almost close alrd.. It's a new day, but it all feels old, it's a good life, that's wad Im told...okay, wait, why am i singing here? But yeah.. it's 00.10am and im typing my blog?? Haha!!

I'm going to leave singapore in less than 12 hours le.. Not exactly sure, whether i shall be happy or be sad, for going back have nth much to do, stay here, other than talk with zakia and sud and *cough* have great fun with ben, nth much can be done also le.. I'll miss you guys..esp you ben.. Brush up your skill yeah? I have full faith in you de!! If it's MT who reading this, um, tell him how i argue usually, so maybe, next time he argue he use more brain than mouth.. No offense intended, honest

Ah, when i arrive Indo alrd, dont know can keep recording like this or not alrd.. But sure hope i can.. Else it's gonna be a long 2 weeks in Indo alrd.. meh..

==================================Day 11 after break up===================================

11 days alrd.. wow.. Lots of things really happens in this 11 days alrd huh? we decided not to talk, you decided to let ben to talk to me, you kp with me.. Yeah, wad ben and you said are right.. I juz cant let go.. I mean, it's only 11 days, honestly, how do u expect me to let go and move on and do wadever crap? It's easy for you to say, coz u are happy with ben and all alrd, but wad abt me? You can do it, but that doesnt mean I can do it as easily as you do it.. Memories are still fresh, on how we need to go to service and it's raining outside and the shutter to the suntec is closed.. On how you come over to bishan for lunch after ur 1st day of work briefing for lunch in yoshinoya.. On how you stand there sweetly waiting for me to come by bus.. I dont know how you do it, but i really cant juz ignore all those stuff.. Call me names, but this is who I am, and i really dont think i'm doing anything wrong by doing this..

2009-03-30T17:19:00.002+08:00

Mm, quite a long day today.. Woke up only at 8am.. 1st thing I checked is my msn.. Not much people online yet.. So, i went to wash up, forgot to turn on the heater and it's all chilly -.- Well, good to wake me up.. Mum and grandma was out to settle my grandma's visa to China.. So, it's me all alone.. Feeling bored, i decided to have some fun with ben, well indeed he provide me some fun.. That kinda kick start my day again..

Talked to zakia and as the wise one, she gave me more advice.. Mm, it really feels good to have her as friend.. Haha! Owe you a lot! :D Not long after that, my bro come online and we start talking cock a bit.. He told me naruto's manga now is very far alrd.. Hinata's dead alrd?? woot the fack? Then how bout Naruto? Wont he be sad? Ah, doesnt matter, Naruto dont give a shit on her anw.. Well, as i was talking, i realize the "Dance floor anthem" song from GC album is interesting, i went to find the lyrics and vid out, and post it up.. There, you can see it, cant you? Wj came online much later, checked with him whether he have any activity to occupy me or not, but all his plan for today is only jogging.....at BoonLay.. That's like freaking far sia.. Cancelled it anw, thought it's juz going to be yet another boring afternoon

Mum came back ard 1.10pm and she told me that she'll need me to acc her to j8 to get stuffs to bring back 2mr, so, seems like it wont be boring afterall.. Wash up, and ready to leave home alrd, and that's when chris came back.. He said he wanna join also, so we wait for him a while, and we head off.. Went there and do all works that i've been postponing time after time.. At least, now all settled alrd then

2mr flight will be morning flight, i think should be ard 10am.. 11 days to:

finish my driving lessons
visit my old tuition teacher
buy new jacket
buy new shoes
buy new sling bag
and last but not least, watch "Kambing Jantan"

That will all need to be done before sinting and wj come over on 14th.. Wew, going to be busy weeks

==================================Day 10 after break up===================================

Still cant forgot you talked to me ytd.. It's my last day in singapore today, and usually on the last day, we will go out almost the whole day, to keep memories till i came back and everything.. Gosh, it suddenly feel so far now, even though the fact is that it's only 10 days.. People say "time flies when you enjoy what you are doing" and my time definitely is not flying now.. You even chase me off ytd, but quoting from what you quote from me "ah well, shit happens"

2009-03-30T12:47:00.002+08:00

She’s going out to forget they were together
All that time he was taking her for granted
She wants to see if there’s more
Then he gave she’s looking for

He calls her up
He’s trippin’ on the phone
Now he doesn’t want her out there and alone
Now he knows she’s smiling and
Knows she’s using it
Now he’s loosing it
She don’t care

Everybody
Put up your hands Say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feel the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Back it up now
You’ve got a reason to live say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feelin’ good now
Don’t be afraid to get down say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”

He was always givin’ her attention
Working hard to find the things she mentioned
He was dedicated
By most sucka’s hated
That girl was fine
But she didn’t appreciate him

She calls him up she’s trippin’ on the phone
Now had to get up and he ain’t comin home
Now she’s tryin’ to forget him and
The salary came with him
When he first met her
When they first got together

Everybody
Put up your hands Say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feel the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Back it up now
You’ve got a reason to live say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feelin’ good now
Don’t be afraid to get down say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”

Feel the beat
Feel the beat
Feel the beat

You got nothing to loose,
Don’t be afraid to get down

We break up it’s something that we do now
Everyone has got to do it sometime
It’s okay
Let it go
Get out there and find someone

It’s too much to be trippin’ on the phone here
Get off the wire
Now everything is good here
Stop what you’re doin’
You don’t wanna ruin
The chance that you got to
Find a new one

Everybody
Put up your hands Say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feel the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Back it up now
You’ve got a reason to live say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feelin’ good now
Don’t be afraid to get down say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”

No
No

Now you know what to do
So come on
Feelin’ good

2009-03-29T23:57:00.003+08:00

Wow, 3rd blogpost within 1 day.. I think other people that blog usually also not as often as me ba.. Well, i juz want to blog down what i dont want to forget loh..

Well, night time is an exciting night.. I was talking to zakia and sudono, and suddenly, i received a msg in facebook.. I thought "hmm, must be a spam mails again" and guess wad? surprise surprise, it's Ben who msg me!! 1 whole week, i cant get the burden off my mind, i cant smile, let alone laugh....until tonight! He totally make my night tonight! Wew!! You should msg me more, if you are reading this, which im kinda sure you are :D Well, you guys will be wondering, why am i so happy to receive a msg from that guy? Well...like i say, he bring me lots of fun!! We have quite a short flame war.. Comes to me and start swearing and all.. That IS a nice opening.. I swear, i never see people do opening like that one.. But he does! So, awesome dude!!

His last msg is "...which obviously I can do something about it" It makes me think, "what can he possibly do?? Burn my house? kidnap my bro? Or wad? He doesnt sound too dangerous leh.." and again, surprise surprise, guess wad he do?? He told mt about it! and in response, mt msg me "hey, heard ben msg you just now... I'm sorry that you cant take it like a man!" Wow! what an awesome and most revelating statement ever!! I really cant stop saying wow, can i? -.- But serioiusly, guys, im totally amazed.. it's like the whole thing become my fault! haha! Well, doesnt matter, I'm juz happy that i can talk to mt again, after so long.. Aaahhh, she even remembered my lines to kp :) How sweet.... ;)

Well, 7-8 days i have restless sleep.. 7-8 days i keep being depressed.. 7-8 days my mind cant stop wandering at night.. And guess wad? THIS IS THE MOST FUCKINGLY AWESOME NIGHT EVER!!! AND IM GOING TO HAVE A GOODNIGHT SLEEP TONIGHT!!

==================================Day 9 after break up===================================

Mm, kinda glad you sms-ed me tonight.. It have been so long that we actually talked.. At times i wanted to msg u again and again, but i always thought you'll just wont reply.. Honestly speaking, I'm quite disappointed that all your msg is nothing but sarcasm, words that plan to shoot me down totally.. It hurts to see you do it like that suddenly.. Your might be totally alright, you might be all strong, but i just didnt expect you can act this far to me.. I'm really disappointed, both to you and to myself.. I'm sorry that i act like jerk to you tonight.. I really am.. And please, i will really prefer you to talk to me instead of asking Ben to.. Honest.. Looking forward till your next...(hopefully not) sarcastic sms..

2009-03-29T17:48:00.002+08:00

Ah, such a lazy afternoon.. Raining heavily and im pretty sleepy out of sudden. And before i knew it, i fell to deep slumber alrd.. That's like ard 2.45pm and when i woke up, it's almost 6pm alrd... In this 3 hours, Lord give me a peculiar dream, as if to put me into mt's position for the past 9 months

I dreamt that i went to this holiday trip, and I met with this girl. She's totally awesome and totally my type.. But as time passes (in my dream), i begin to realize that she is a bit irritating.. How so? Because, whenever i talked to her, trying to tell her something, she'll cut me off and pretending that she knew alrd, and most often than not, i tried to ask her out to go down buy stuffs and all (it's holiday resort, so yeah...) and yeah, she wants, but she never ask me down together.. It's as if, that she didn't realize that I'm there.. It's just as if she never appreciate me at all.. Then, i woke up...and realized it's all a dream.. Then i asked God, why You gave me this dream? Then He told me "try and search your feeling, doesn't it resembles to the way you treat mt mostly?"

She told me repititiously on how it have irritates her alrd, and i never heed it, and now i realize it is THAT irritating...

==================================Day 9 after break up===================================

There is this part, in the dream, that the girl turn out to be you.. we were sitting on a couch, like how we used to sit in theather or something.. Then suddenly, it feels like the 1st time we kissed.. You are so close and yet it's like as if there is this barrier between us.. I tried to break it and move closer to you, but suddenly you moved away just like that, and when i look again, you are nt sitting anymore and running away alrd.. Darn, i really miss the time when we are together..

2009-03-29T08:58:00.003+08:00

I know i shouldnt blog so early in the morning, lest there'll be nothing else to be blogged at afternoon time, but I really am bored now, so i though of just post stuffs that happen between ytd's blog till now then..

Nothing much happen at night actually.. Talked to zakia, and bother her more.. Haha, thanks for being such an awesome friend.. I'm sorry that I'll need to bother you more these few days.. Kristy told me to cheer up also.. This remind me so much on how I asked others to cheer up when they just broke up.. Now, suddenly, i feel that talking is really cheap.. But it really is hard to cheer up in this kind of condition..

God, hear my humble prayer once more.. Aren't I Your precious and beloved son? Lord, this whole issue is really disturbing me greatly.. I really cant be myself in this kind of condition.. Please Lord, let me be like the guy that are able to post something like what i post in April 26th last year Lord.. Please let me be able to go through this without much suffering Lord.. I tried to solve this problem myself, and all it bring just more and more sufferings, it took me a while to realize, but now I know, only You can help me to solve this, so Lord, I come to you to ask for your help Lord.. Thank You Lord, to listen to my prayer.. In Jesus name Lord, who have died to set me free and gave me the right to come and ask for your help Lord, I pray.. Amen

==================================Day 9 after break up===================================

You slept quite early ytd night.. You only came home around 9pm and sleep ard 10pm alrd.. Tired after the whole day of excitement huh? Going out early for the service 2mr eh? I remembered the time when we went for early service and spend the rest of the day out.. It's sooo much fun.. Then we can go to theater by the bay and all.. I wonder if that's what you guys will be doing today also...

This will be all for my morning post.. I will post more if there's interesting stuff happen at afternoon time later..

2009-03-28T17:34:00.002+08:00

Planned out a mastermind with zakia ytd.. Ok, more like I plan, and ask for her approval, just in case, what I thought is just some crappy idea, and fortunately she says it's ok.. But even ytd, I have no idea to make it a 2 prong attack.. Until this morning, when i talked to kerou.. She agree to help me out in exchange for the plan that who knows might be useful to her.. I hope it's gonna be a success..

Went out with my mum this afternoon to chinatown.. Initially, i thought it's gonna be okay AGAIN.. Like, i thought, "we" never went there before.. But upon arrival, once again, memory flood through my mind again.. Not as much as ytd when i went to Toa Payoh though.. Even when me and my mum went to orchard, a place that i rarely go and safely assume that is save to go, I can recollect memories also.. Apparently, yeah, we ever went there also.. Honestly, is there nowhere in this island that's exciting and "we" never visit before???? ARGH!!

Well, that should be all for now, since my mum have been screaming for me to get off from com and help her in kitchen.. I'll blog again when more things happen

==================================Day 8 after break up===================================

It's saturday, and usually we'll be out today.. I wonder where u'll be going today.. Saw you online at 10am this morning, and went offline ard 11.15.. I thought you will be going out early today.. which you prove me wrong, when u pop up online again at 11.45.. Then, i didnt keep track of it le, since i need to go out with my mum.. And when i'm back, you are long gone le.. Come back early today please? I just want to see you online again....

Ytd night, its yet another restless night.. I cant sleep coz my mind keep picturing you and ben walking together, you and ben kissing, you and ben watch movie, you and ben this and that, basically you and ben does whatever we'll usually do.. Wont you recalled about us when you do it? Why everything seems so easy for you, when it's such a big burden for me? I really cant bear the burden anymore that i actually prayed to God.. I asked him to give me a bit of peacefulness just so that i can sleep, to regenerate all the lost energies that i have spent to improve myself. But the more i try to get the peacefulness, the more my mind goes chaotic.. It might sounds very emoic and you might laugh when you read this, but eventually i prayed to God, asking Him to send me His angel of death, to just claim my life away, so that I will just sleep there peacefully, caring not about this worldly worry.. But, as we have known, He love me too much to do that.. I know He want me to learn my lesson, i know.. It have been 8 days, and none of the days feels light.. I just hope, the lesson wont need to be so hard..

2009-03-27T18:45:00.014+08:00

Wow, im back again.. Haha.. I wonder how many people will view this post.. =x
I decided I'll come back to blog again, to occupy my free time now.. I heard lots of people give me advice that I need to make myself busy and all to "move on", so, ta daa~ here am I

Well, today starts out quite late.. I only woke up at ard 9am due to some weird clucking noise.. Initially, i ignore it, but when it become too unbearable, i decided to check it and guess wad? It's those worker that's doing their upgrading job -.- I went to wash up and all, and ask wj, whether he playing rapplez or not.. And as the matter of fact, he is, not only that, his lvl is far ahead of me alrd and i thought i win him alrd ytd. Tsk..will need to chiong again, and I really do hope I didnt give up too early, since he really do me a favour to acc me play alrd.. Haha..

Went out with my mum to toa payoh just now.. Initially, she want to go to City Hall's carefour, which I object adamantly, for I thought, it surely will make me emo badly, since "we" spent much time there alrd, and the memories is thickest there, esp "we" need to go to theater by the bay.. But i do not realize till i reached toa payoh, that it is there, where my memories will overflow me.. For goodness sake, it is there, where "we" went for our 1st movie and dinner.. And sure enough, i lost my concentration there.. I always like to laugh at those emo people, like how stupid can they get? So lost and so unfocused just becoz they break up or quarell, but look at my own condition now... BUT I still wont call myself emo, so you shouldnt too! :D

==================================Day 7 after break up===================================

It have been a week.. probably the longest week i ever felt.. I talked to many friends of mine alrd, and yeah, seems like they gave me the same advice "Dont think about her anymore, just move on.." And that is just how much i want to do, but it really is not as easy as it sounds.. Move on? Then what about our memories? What about everything that we had done? Am i just going to forget all and deny that it ever happen? If either zakia or sudono read this, I know im going to get hell lot of scolding.. But this is really happening to me now.. I cant even bring myself thinking about other girls, which is totally weird.. For if i were to be honest, when we are together, it's more often that not that sometimes i think about other girls more than you.. Perhaps, now i knew the meaning of the word "loss" When i talked to you, you really seems very happy and unburdened.. If I were to be honest, i really does envy you.. I really have no idea how you can do it, and i cant.. I really wish i have just another chance, but it does seems impossible, for it will means that i need to make you break up with ben huh? Perhaps, if the feeling still stays, i will wait till you are over with ben and maybe i'll work my way up again.. I guess that's all for now..

==Revival==

2008-12-08T20:55:00.002+08:00

Omg, look at all the cyber-spiderweb.. Man, i guess it really have been sometime since i blog.. Well, I'm juz getting lazier and lazier to blog last time.. What can you do anw? Stone me? Haha!

Ok, lets see... What have i missed to note down here... Hmm, ok, now i have a girlfriend alrd.. Life getting better and more exciting, and most importantly, i realize who am I already.. For it is written "As He is so are we in this world" in 1 John 4:17.. Call me a religious freak or whatever you guys want, but i am NOT backing out for my own God anymore.. Time has come for me to change -.-

Ok, well, lets record down today's stuff 1st then, shall we?

Lets see.. Today is not an interesting day at all.. In fact, it was quite boring.. Woke up at 10am plus, and start my day by listening to some worship song that I search on youtube the night before and yet to listen.. Its by hillsong.. Rejoiced after that, i continue with some Gundam 00 season 2 that i downloaded yesterday night.. Haha, it seems like i'll start to download more and more anime since this day onward :D

Well, after that, i have my lunch and clean up Shiroi's cage. it seems very excited.. Haha.. I tried to get my Perfect World updated, but it seems like the patcher fail to work.. I guess, its up to Youngly 2mr alrd..

Speak about 2mr, its another school day again.. I dont know whether i should be happy or not about it.. If its holiday, it'll be boring, since dear will be working, and yet, if its school day, it will be juz boring and tiring, not to mention, the mood is not there already, since holiday is coming soon..

Well, in any case, CHRISTMAS IS COMING SOON!! And my church are making more and more events with christmas as the theme.. Well, or maybe not, since there will be 1 christmas bash only, but oh well, i am sure, the christmas spirit will be here soon!!

Ok, that'll be all for now.. Lets see when will be the next post again =x haha!

2008-06-02T02:31:00.002+08:00

I was cruising ard blogs when i finally came to ur blog.. It have been long time since i read it, and yet, whenever i read that part, i still.....sigh, idk.. Wad surprise me more is, as i read i realize i keep telling myself "no, no, that's not me.. It cant be, no" I was wondering now.. Am i really that scared of assuming and plunge to same mistake again? But why is that so?

At times, i felt so..lost, wondering whether what I have done is the best i can do alrd or is it the otherwise.. Ur worda that day....it still rings on my head.. I can even still make words per words out of it.. It'll always trigger me some...pain whenever i recall it..

I said "confident is good, bt over confident, my friend, is another issue" Am i actually the over confident one? But why? Why do i even have that thought back then?

Well, does it even matter now? Sigh, how i wish that, after that incident, i lost my ability to assume, bt the fact is, after reading ur blog, and ASSUME and thus i wrote this blog.. I doubt u'll even read my blog alrd, bt who noes, if u really wanna talk to me again, drop me a hint, see if i can pick it up or nt.. But i wont be assuming anymore.. Especially not to you.. I'm sry..

2008-05-30T01:14:00.002+08:00

Viewed Shiro-neechan blog juz now.. Sigh.. It sure brings back memories.. I never really knew her, but honestly, being her bro is sure fun..

I still somehow remember vividly, on the day she ask me to be her "godbro".. It's in Ludibrium, when we juz done PQ-ing.. Yeah, it's maple world.. I noe u gonna say it's lame and stuff, bt training up to lvl 50, brings me to know a lot of great friends.. One of them, is Shiro-neechan.. Hins, Tai, Phrozen, and many many more.. Sometime i wonder, if i go back and try to find you guys, will i actually found u guys there? Dragokado, Hins88, PhrozenHeart.. Not to mention, wolfie, KuroKuropi, Miinru, Orca... Sigh.. And also...AnGLSue.. I guess u guys led different lifes alrd huh?

Well, back to neechan.. I'm sry to not accompany u much on the last tick of my maple life.. I mean, i'm juz not myself.. Even though u hint me lots of time to come online in maple, i juz shrugged it off by saying that i am busy.. I'm really sorry for that.. Should i known something like this will happen........i would be online like everyday.. Indeed we never actually met face to face, bt memories that u left behind will always stay in my mind..

I still remember on how we play hide and seek in free market with wolfie and miinru.. I still remember where i need to hunt those soft feather for the marriage quest and how u and hins help me up.. I still remember on how we use to PQ together.. I still remember on how much time we spend on chatting in maple or msn.. I still remember everything clearly...

I'm really really sorry that i dun even noe ur exact.....departure time and date... I feel really bad abt it.. Honest.. I mean, I'm ur godbro, and i dun even noe much abt you? and not to mention, i fail to cheer u up on the final hours? I only noe it after wad? 2 months later? and now it's like 3-4 months later alrd, then i start blogging abt all these? I.... I think mere sorry juz cant cover for it, can it?

Neechan, thx for all the time.. Thx for letting me feel, how does it feel to have an older sis that care for you.. Thx for everything..

Rest in Peace neechan.. Your memories will always last in my mind..

2008-05-25T21:49:00.002+08:00

25th again... It's gonna be a year soon.. How long more will it actually stuck in my memory? Sometimes, i wonder.. Is it that I'm the one that choose to keep remembering about it? Or is it really stuck in my mind till now? If i am the one that choose to remember it, why so then? Does she even remember this date? On what actually happen on this date 9-10 months ago?

Ah, throat still feel a bit painful from all the shouting from ytd concert.. Gah, juz hope that 2mr it will be much better alrd!

1 more week till school holiday.. Told my parents i'm not going back to Indo alrd.. 2 weeks holiday.. Hmm, gotta start planning with Deb and Ryan on which days to meet up and REALLY discuss on PP (I noe both of you are going to read this one day! So when?!?! Lol) 2 weeks = 14 days, 3 days will be gone for chalet, left 11 days... Hmm.. Lets make full use of those 11 days for something.. Haha

Ah, apparently, i also didnt go back to that place for this month eh? How i hope one day she is back here again, and i will bring her to that place and tell her that that is the place that i have been waiting on for her... But, well..... Sometimes, dream will juz remain as dream

2008-05-25T00:29:00.002+08:00

Juz came back from Hillsong United concert.. nt sure i should still be excited or pretend (wait, pretend? -.-?) to be dead now.. Tired and hungry.. Gah.. But honestly, the excitement still linger in me.. Ah, juz cant wait till next Zone event again.. Anw, let me juz briefly blog down the activity juz now before i forget about it..

Met up with Derek and the rest at around 1pm.. Thought me and my friend gonna be late already.. The sad fact is, the Zone is only starting at 6.30pm -.- So, 2 of us roam around expo, checking out food fair and stuff.. Went back to the holding area at around 4.30 and start to sit down and wait patiently (yeah right, with all the complaining, i wonder if u can call it patiently or not).. The concert area finally opened up at 5.45.. Went in to find seats on floors and wait for the rest of the groups to fill the hall in.. WOW! 3/4 of the whole big hall is full!! Some briefing were made, and Hillsong made their way to stage ard 7pm++..

Whole hall explode with cheer and shouts.. We were all so excited abt them coming to singapore.. I mean, immagine, usually u listen to their songs only from itunes or ur mp3 player, now you can see how they actually do it LIVE.. Songs per songs were been played.. Whole hall was shouting out the lyrics to sing along.. It was juz so....much better compare to normal arrow service (nt like as if it is nt good enuff though).. Even when they decide to call it a day alrd, we still shoutings for encore.. They brought us 2 more songs.. One way and i'm-not-sure-wad's-the-title-call song.. Bid them farewell and juz hope that they come to singapore again next year.. haha!

Arrived home at ard....12.15am.. Phew.. Expo till Bishan...is juz really really long journey -.- getting ready to had my dinner and next....DOTA!!! Oh yeah, nothing is better compare to seeing bloodbath of ur enemy been slayed one by one by you.. Gonna try new gay combo with my friends later (ie. perma bash combo by am and troll, and mass image by naga and dark seer)
Well, better bathe and get ready now then.. Missed 1 match alrd, dun wanna miss another one now..

Call me game freak all you want, but YOU are the one that cause me to change back to this state after i tell u i wanna cut down my gaming.. Anyway, doesnt really matter nw anw wheter i cut down or nt, does it? Ah well, juz take care then..

Ok, cya guys till next post :D

2008-05-20T23:14:00.003+08:00

Weew, juz came back from whole day out -.- I realize that my this new class is a very darn good class.. Honestly, I love all of you.. Thx for all the concern.. By Thur, I will recover (or at least, TRY) alrd..

Whole day been scolded by friend coz emoing.. Well, i tried not to, but can i really help it? -.- But, hey, thx for all the scoldings man.. At least it still keep me on the land of "sanity".. To rid my emoness, i thought i can juz have fun throughout the whole day to dispel the thought away.. Started my day by playing warcraft.. Whole morning sit down in front of my com, doing nothing but slaying mystical creatures and fugly little orcs.. Woke my friend up at 12pm++, went out to have lunch and some arcades.. Guess wad? My Tekken skill increase already! I used to think that Asuka is so though to use, but LOL! she is juz soooo irresistible (yeah, both her looks and her skills :D) Okok, back to the story.. So, watched movie at 5++.. Then went pasar malam in TPY to get my supper and beer for late night gaming spree later.. Called my best friend in Australia, talked to him abt all the troubles.. Gave me quite lots of advices.. Thx bro..

It have been almost 24hr, or even 24hr++ since i emo, and i havent recover from it? William......You disappoint me.. Get a grip of yourself man! Pull youself together! Isnt that wad you always said to all ur friends when they are emo? Why does it sounds so ironically now? You R-TARD!! JUZ RECOVER FASTER LAH!! -.-

2008-05-20T08:05:00.002+08:00

"So, you are saying that you wanna quit before u even try?" I always found myself asking that to my friends when they are asking me for some advice abt their crush.. I always asked them, are they really sure abt their decision? Abandoning who they really want for some small reason? I was so sure that, if it were up to me, i wont even think of any option such as to quit.. But ironically, fate tend to mock me right in front of my face..

No, i dun wish to do the introduction on my problem.. I prefer it to be juz me or whoever that knew abt this problem only to understand what i'm going to write

Sitting on the bus stop, listening to musics, my mind start to wander... Why is it that i am not even allowed into the competition? You know perfectly well that i wish to enter that competition badly.. Maybe it's juz me, but i even thought that you are going to allow me to participate it.. But when only i think i am ready, you disqualified me straight in my face..

Yeah, i know, who actually am I to think that i will be able to participate in the competition? A mere squire against legions of knights? I'm juz not enuff for you, isnt it? But then again, why wont u consider my determination and disqualified me instead? Is it really that i didnt show enough determination?

Skipping school, sitting down on friend's house, is this what i always want? I even cant recognize myself anymore.. Me and my friends tend to make fun of those emos, saying that they cant recover from hits fast enough.. But look, who's the emo now? Pathetic bastard..

Hmm? What am i trying to achieve, u ask? No, nothing.. I juz thought that maybe if i juz blog it down, the heavy feeling will at least been lighten up a bit..

Life is like a road we travel.. You'll meet passers by as u walk.. Some will follow you walking the same path, some will follow you for a while and when met a turn, they'll turn and leave you, and some wont even bother to walk with you.. I guess, this is the turn.. Maybe one day....we can meet each other again on the same road.. But till then...goodbye..

K, that's all about my rants for today.. Yes, you can start pointing at my face and start laughing already.. Hope you enjoy it.. Cya

2008-05-19T05:48:00.002+08:00

The time shown was 5:48am, and here am i, sitting in front of laptop, cant even manage to sleep due to high bloodlust, thx to dota.. Cant really say in a very good mood nw when i'm blogging, lost the match before we decided to call it a day(or night.. wadever)..

Anw, this post is dedicated to, Gina (yeah! Happy that finally u are mentioned here? -.-? Lol!)

Guess wad, Gina and me have quite a lot of similarity.. Even our bday is damn freaking close.. Only diff by 1 day.. Haha.. Mine's at 6th, her's at 5th..

Hmm, "bad things" abt her arh? :
-Total Slacker!
Haha! Immagine! She is at work and yet we can chat for whole day.. Can even walk ard
TM with friends summore.. Haha! I WANT TO TALK TO UR MANAGER!!
-Day Dreamer
According to herself, regardless of wad is she doing, she can juz stop and suddenly day dream
This is scary man, immagine if u talk to her halfway then she suddenly day dream how?
(never happen before YET, but maybe soon will happen :p)
-Spicy Intollerant (read: Cant tahan eat spicy things)
Complain on the slightest taste of spicy things.. Zinger fish of KFC and yet she was complaining
abt to spicy.. I wonder wad will happen if 1 day i bring her some of Indo food.. Haha! :D

Okok, here is the hardest part: Her good point.. -.-
I really need to think hard for this....Ok, here goes:
-Friendly
Yeah, i dunno which part of her is friendly lah (everytime talk, confirm got scold people idiot or
wad one loh -.-), but yeah, well, i can juz feel that she is quite friendly lah..
-Smiles and laughs alot
Ok, u might think that she is insane coz she smiles a lot, and you are right!!! Hahah! joking
joking.. But honestly, she can laughs on slightest joke i crack.. This encourage joker and lamer
like me juz to crack more jokes.. haha!
-Nice to talk with
Idk, but it juz seems like wadever we are talking abt, confirm will tally one.. Lol! Too much
similarities perhaps? But anw, like wad i have said, this makes us grow non-bored even we chat
from morning all the way to night

Ok, i squeezed my whole brain juz to balance the good and the bad alrd, so dun complain hor! haha! So, yeah, that's all for now ba.. :D Anw, Gina, no, u cant hate me more than i do, coz i hate u more than you do 1st liao.. Haha! So yeah, perhaps i should stop staring at com screen now and get to bed alrd.. Nitez all

2008-05-15T22:53:00.002+08:00

Argh.. Things juz wont work well for me huh?? Everytime i thought i am doing fine alrd, things will fucked up.. Is this something like a test for me or sumthing??

Anyway, today was quite fun.. The fucked up faci of Web Multimedia study finally had some bus accident and died on spot.. Ok, i lie abt that part, he juz been changed with new faci.. And trust me, this new faci is much more fun compared to the freaking bus driver.. Jokes a lot sia..
Sigh, even though i set my mind to do work for today alrd, seems like laziness and ignorance overwhelm me easily.. Haha.. Ends up depending on teammate for today grade again.. Sorry guys.. I promise i'll try to be better again next week..

UT for web mutimedia today.. Lol! everyone was busy studying juz nw, while i still happily checking on my script game kingdom and neopets (yeah! i play it.. You play it? SPARE ME MESOS!!).. Ends up, from 30 minutes test, i done it within 10 min.. I dunno whether i am brave or am i juz plainly stupid.. But that's that, i didnt study, and i didnt even feel worried abt it -.-

Came back hme juz nw, thought that wanna rest up and stuff 1st, coz these few days, really have a major problem in lack of sleep.. Ends up, only took 10-15 min nap nia, then my bro wake me up and ask me to have dinner.. Gah.. After dinner, i cant even continue to fall asleep anymore lah.. -.- So, here am i, di siao-ing Gina when she trying to study and blogging..

When chatting with Gina juz nw, recalled back the time when with Sue and Jac.. I noe i tell myself i'm not gonna get involved in the big game ie.BGR thingy, but sometimes, to have someone there so that you can share your problem and understand you and be able to cheer u up sounds really nice.. Not that as if i dun have friends or wad to share.. But some certain things, juz cant be shared to friends, can it? Ah.. Perhaps i shouldnt gave this kind of things too much thought and juz relax and enjoy the day..

Well, that's for nw.. Perhaps, i might reconsider updating blog to daily basis again.. But that's still consideration.. Well, till next post then.. Cya

2008-05-12T22:43:00.002+08:00

Celebrate Ivy's bday in classroom today! Haha, went to bought cake with Ryan and Debbie at morning, 1st break time.. Put it down on 7-11, and we head back to class alrd.. We only celebrated it at 2nd break.. It was so much fun.. I cant rem how long ago did i sang happy bday song till this morning.. Guess this class is really special huh? to be able to make me even sing the song.. Haha!

Today lesson was a drag.. Networking... I wonder when then i will start to get a hang out of it..
It's another session of "ah" and "um, yeah" -.- Hope that it didnt pull my grades down very much

Dinner today on swensens.. Crap, need to treat ryan coz he FLUNK his java UT.. Wad a logic huh? hahaha! Aiya, but this kind of thing, friend friend one lah hor.. haha! Had curry chicken baked rice, with free flow drinks.. Cool.. Crap, should have take some of the pics from Ryan and start uploading pics in my blog.. K, fine, next post, it will be with pictures alrd.. Haha..

So, guess that's all for today.. Yeah, i dunno hw to write it out properly, so it might sounds boring, but well, i sure have a lot of fun today.. :D

Till next post then :D

Ghost hunting on 29th/30th Feb 2008

2008-05-02T21:10:00.002+08:00

Lol, i feel like our class is getting more and more "out of control".. Haha! Imagine, we only know each other for like 4 weeks and we have like 2 night outing alrd.. Too bad i cant join the 1st outing, but the 2nd outing was fun.. We are visiting OCH (Old Changi Hospital)..
Lemme recount that whole nite detail (At least, as detail as i can)

So, Debbie, me and Ryan (yeah, he start qq-ing abt me calling him asshole at my previous post alrd) planned to meet up on Bishan MRT station at ard 10pm.. From there we went of and met Charis and the rest in TPY.. From there we set off to Changi Village at ard 11pm-12am.. It took us 45 min to reach there.. Upon arrival, we met up with 2 of our other friends.. Now, there are 10 of us already.. (ok, some of them that i didnt mention is Jeromme, Eileen, Qing Yong alias ChinaMan, Randy, Zamree, Cheng Long).. We start marching off towards the OCH when we are "complete".. Haha!

As we walk, our mind are set with all preparations when we arrive at the haunted OCH.. We start saying about how we will run when we saw what we are not suppose to see and stuff (from now on, i'll address that "thing" as clown for safety purpose of younger reader.. LOL!) like that..

Anw, we arrived there ard 1am++.. Qing Yong start his crap abt that is the "peak hour".. Yeah, for the clown -.- Yup, faced with the creepy staircase towards the OCH, we start to have doubt and fear alrd.. Steps by steps we went on with full caution.. We try to stay in compact form.. But at a point of time when the "front liner" went to ahead alrd, i heard Zamree saying something from behind, and after some "investigation", seems like Debbie who is sensitive abt this kind of things, sensed that it is not safe for us to proceed since there are some strong supernatural power that pressurised her down.. We decided to call it off and tried next "entrance".. But it was to no avail, since it is too steep and impossible to climb..

Nw we faced with some dilemma.. Are we going to cancel this whole thing, or shall we juz ignore abt wad Debbie warned us and risk our life and chiong in and explore.. Conclusion was drawn up within seconds.. We decided to break into 2 groups with 2 guys to stay guard with girls outside while the other party of 6 went in to explore.. I am one of the 1st party..

So, we start all over again.. Facing the creepy stairways again.. Diff is, this time, there is nothing that can stop us from climbing up except for our fear already.. Steps by steps we went up till we arrive at the OCH entrance.. It is 1-2am and it is dark and trust me, with all those clown mind in ur head, it will creep the shit out of you.. Qing Yong, burns of 3 sticks of ciggarates, using it to "appease" the entrance "guard".. After that, we sayed some prayer and some permission words to the "owner" before we take one big breath and went inside..

The feeling is totally different once we went inside.. From super creepy to creepy level.. Yeah, u didnt read wrong, it is still creepy, but nt as creepy as before.. My goosebumps also start to chill down already.. Randy, who said that can sense things better than Debbie, decided to take lead and start the "tour"..

Inside, the tiles and everything is scattered around.. Juz the typical abandoned haunted house that you saw everyday in TV, the only diff is: You are not feeling it when u are watching it on TV.. As we walk, more and more graffities can be spotted.. It was not normal "[enter your name here] was here!!!!" type of graffities.. What you can see inside is like "This way to 666" or "Welcome to Hell!!" or "Look closely, you will see the unseen"..

After some round of walking and exploring inside, we start to walk back already.. Filled with panic and fear (and perhaps maybe the air inside is damp and hot also, or so is what we like to think), once we went out, we are perspiring like mad.. Another quick prayer to apologize if we disturbed anything, we head off downstairs alrd..

2nd party head out, and i'm staying back to "guard" the girls as i cooldown.. This time, they took longer since they explore more place.. They took ard 10-15 mins.. Now story telling time by Randy (ya lah! he is the one that can sense better than debbie, dun need scroll up liao -.-)

"Ok, before i start anything, i want you guys to trust me that all of you here are save already" he started off.. He shared that he saw 3 red chairs, with clowns that watching us but didnt do anything.. He also shared that he was actually been followed by red spirit ( there are diff type of spirits, red one is revengeful one) and he was abt to die if he crossed a door that he is nt suppose to cross.. That is what he experienced from 1st trip.. From 2nd trip, he shared that he saw a malay girl wearing yellow tudung (tudung is those muslim girls wear one).. Those stories really freak the rest of us up..

OK, it might not sounds scary nw, bt believe me, it was scary back then.. After that, nt much things happen alrd.. We slack off all the way till 6am and went back alrd..

So yeah, that's my ghost hunting experience and class bonding event that we host up this last tue 29/30 April 2008.. Scary and exciting, those are wad i can say..

2008-04-26T10:44:00.002+08:00

People say "If you are enjoying what you are doing, you will surely feel that time flies" Guess that really applies for me..

School have not been easy for these past 3 weeks.. All we learn about is only computing, computing, and more computing.. Amazingly, while i'm weak in VB in year 1, i manage to perform in java in year 2.. I really hope that at least i can manage to excel in at least java this year..

Aside from studies, seems like the class i'm in now is not bad at all.. The bonding happens in a very fast rate.. Real fast.. I'm nt sure whether this is juz becoz we are too used to changing class, or we really are good in finding friends.. Wadever the case is, i began to found my "group" of friends that i can hang out with in sch already.. The best amongst all is still "asshole" and Debbie.. (Yeah, if u are reading it, u deserve the title asshole :D).. He had the pic of us, if i manage to get it already, i'll upload it up, so u guys can see, which is the asshole :D

Yesterday was the 25th.. I suppose to visit "that place", but i think i'll decided to give it a rest this month.. Perhaps, those kind of memories are best to be juz kept somewhere deep and save, and not been recalled oftenly.. Maybe till next month, then i'll re-visit "that place" again..

Ah, seems like my interest abt involving in bgr thingy starts to dies off already.. Haha, i'm nt sure this is a good things, or a bad things, but seems like, if i dun worry abt this kind of things, my mind are at least clearer abit.. So, yeah, i should juz thx God for the help He gave me all along then..

2008-04-11T02:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i ask myself, what is love actually? What do i actually seek from having a relationship with girls? And surprisingly, most of the time, I almost come to the dead end.. I mean, it will always be "you need accompaniances, someone who understand you and care about you and stuff" But then again, is that really is the case? I often ask myself, how many gf did my dad ever have before my mom? Is their time is like us, where we find a gf, knowing fully well that we are going to break up one day? Or is it that on their time, find a partner and going to stay together forever already?

From time to times, what my pastor ever told us, tend to come to my mind: "Perhaps, we are just not ready for the relationship, and God have the plan for it".. Is it really true that i am not ready for the relationship? Am i really still naive and childish to really play this game seriously? Am i really still dun understand anything abt relationship? Is wad Jac told me is the truth? That i think too highly of myself abt relationship?

If there is a girl that u like very much, and you plan to tell her that alrd, but the sec before u told her that, she told u that she is actually having an eye on someone else, what will u actually do? Will u just let her go? thinking that "well, as long as she is happy with him, i am fine with it?" or should u tell her straight and try ur best and overfight that guy because u think that the girl should be the happiest with you? Until now, honestly, i still dont know, which course of action is the best one.. You might think 2nd one will be the best from the way i say it, but imagine, what if you cant make the girl happy and ends up in break up? Wont that be worse than juz stay as friend?

Perhaps, from what i said above, you can judge whether i am still naive and childish or nt.. But you know, memories scarred, and it will be there till heaven knows when.. I dun think i will easily forget all those experience i alrd have and left behind..

2008-04-09T20:42:00.002+08:00

You know, if you have friendster account, you'll ever experienced someone say something like "hey! write me a testi as soon as possible k?" then if u dun want to write one, you'll start to be pestered to the point till you'll write something like "this testi is been forced to write by xxxx".. And guess wad, this is my 1st time been forced to write a blog.. Lol! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! DUN PRETEND TO SHAKE HEAD OR LOOK AROUND ALRD!! Hahaha!

Recently, made new friends through cabal.. Name's Jia Hui.. When i first noe her, thought she is juz like every normal girl.. But believe me, she is not juz an ordinary girl.. I must admit, her dedication to her NPCC squad is great.. It is really seldom to see someone who will do so much things for sumthing.. I, myself, dun think that i ever dedicate myself to something fully.. Let alone dedicate to study, playing game also sometimes nt dedicated a.k.a being hardcore -.- It's juz a pity that her physical condition cant support her burning desire and dedication to NPCC.. No, she is not disable or wad lah! wth? -.- She is juz,uh, lets say, abit weak (hey! wad else u want me to say?) Not to mention, she can get sick easily..

Well, at the beginning of the blog, i am saying something abt someone force me to write this blog rite? And the whole blog, i am only talking abt someone, so do u guys noe who force me to write the blog now? :D hahaha!

2008-04-02T12:15:00.003+08:00

Wow, cant rem when is the last time i blog alrd.. Even thought lots of good things happen recently, but juz cant find the right motivation to write it down.. Oh well, anw, like i say, there is lots of new good things happen recently :D

For example, FINALLY!! 1 MORE WEEK TO SCH REOPEN!! Ok, for normal people, this should sounds crazy, i mean, who will look forward to sch reopening? Well, try having 10 weeks long holiday, and see whether u look forward to sch reopen or nt.. Haha..

Next, i also bought new laptop.. Acer Aspire 4920.. Finally, some decent laptop for me to *cough* game *cough* I MEAN, WORK with =X haha! Played Cabal without lag!! NEW LAPTOP FTW!! :D

K, that should be all i guess.. Gotta call my friend and ask him on where to meet up for chalet and stuff nw.. Cya on next entry then..

Signing out,
Shiroi Oogami

2008-03-17T09:26:00.002+08:00

Recently, i met someone interesting through net again.. And guess wad? She reminds me a lot of myself, it's like talking to my clone or sumthing -.- Oh yeah, her name is Vanessa (I guess that's how it's been spelled, lol!) Stubborn and cunning.. I thought no one will be as cunning in finding loopholes in talking as much as me, but well, seems like God wanted to prove me that, there is always someone who is as good as you (i dun want to use better, coz u are certainly NOT better than me.. You know who you are if u are reading this! haha!).. Well, even though you may thought that if you talk to yourself, you'll feel bored, I certainly feel the other way round.. It seems like we really have lots in common.. Ok, at least from what i found out, i can say it's a lot.. If i can find some uncommon things next time, i'll make sure i edit this post up.. :D

Doesnt mean to unearth the past memories, but, somehow, after being single, i begin to realize what all my friends said abt being "free".. I dun realize it at beginning, but slowly but sure, perhaps i think i get what it mean by free being single.. Well, maybe like wad i say, i'll juz stay put ard like this.. Savouring every single second of being single.. Perhaps, till one day, when i found my princess in shining armour (ok, beside sound so gay, there is also nth as princess in shining armour, but heck! that's how i want to write it! lol!!)

2008-03-06T10:32:00.002+08:00

Damn it.. Fell sick for these 2 days.. High fever and sore throat.. I somehow have the feeling that i have fever alrd 2 days ago, and yet, i still go and swim with Frank and my cousin.. Came back from that swimming session, i start feeling cold liao.. And, voila, lie down on the bed for 2 whole days.. haha.. Nw recovering slowly liao

I miss the live on singapore, really.. Things in Indo are really boring.. Nowhere to go, nothing to do.. Sure, sure, seems like I'm the one that whine a lot, but hey! it is the true case..

Oh ya! I told mom abt asking my best friend, Sudono, to come over to my place.. She reject it straight, saying that it will be too bored at my place.. So, why am i so happy about it? U must be asking that rite? Haha! Instead of asking him to come over, she suggest that i am the one who GO over to his place.. And she also told me, if his parents are ok with it, she'll allow me to go for a tour with him.. DAMN!! HOW NICE IT IS!! to go to a tour with your friend.. That basically means that, you can do wadever you want out there without parents supervision.. Hehehehe *evil grin* hahahaha!!!! Well, the bad news is, it wouldnt happen till next year, but hell! 1 year nowadays feels so short alrd.. Well, juz need to ask him to ask his parents and then set the destination.. Haha!

Well, that should be all for this time.. :D

2008-03-03T10:39:00.002+08:00

Bought my guitar set ytd.. Yeah, not the electric one i noe, but heck, i am juz a beginner, wad u want me to tell my parents?? "Dad, all beginner starts with electric one.." -.-

Today will be my 1st lesson of guitar, damn nervous sia.. I hope that i can learn fast and start playing some of the final fantasy song that i dreamt to play alrd.. Breezy, Fisherman Horizon, Balamb Garden.... Even before i start blogging this, i had alrd found all the chords (or tabs, i dunno wad they are called..) Damn, hope my fast learning skill will help in this matter.. :D

Aside from that, gym life is getting better.. No more muscle cramps!! Biceps also starts to grow up alrd.. Not only that, i manage to persuade my friend to join me for gym alrd.. haha! We also plan to sandwich in some swimming session between all gym days.. But gotta see how it goes 1st.. But main point is, it is damn relaxing liao now!! (the gym life i mean)

Well, that should be all for now.. If anything new, i'll make sure i'll blog it down..
(hey, for the future me, when u reading this, you must felt that u are childish back then rite?? But tell u wad, no, u actually dun feel childish when u blogging this down, believe me.. U blog this, becoz u want to keep the memory, not becoz u want to be childish.. :D)

2008-03-01T12:48:00.002+08:00

Shiro neechan left all of us already.. I cant help but feel both sad and regretful.. This really complete my bad memories abt maple already.. True, she is no more than my mere friends in maple and she might not treat me as if i am her bro and we might be bro and sis like some role-player that my friend told me,but to have someone that is older than you, it juz feel nice for me, since i dun even have elder sibling..

I still can remember, whenever i login to maple, if Sue is not online, she'll come and play around with me.. She never show any weakness at her attitude, nor does she gave up on her studies, even knowing that her life is not that long anymore.. If it were me, i have already gave up on it and start playing since then.. Neechan, i really admire your courage to continue living on.. I am really sorry that i cant say anything on the last time you come online..

Neechan, i want you to know that, even if you have gone from this world, i wont forget abt you.. Yes, honestly, you might slip out of my mind one day.. I might forget about u one day.. BUT, if i saw this post that i post, or if i saw maple poster, i will remember you.. Yeah, both you and Sue.. Seems like people that i knew from maple have really leaving me one by one.. Neechan and Sue, both of you, you guys will always be in my mind.. Thx for all the wonderful times that u guys gave me instead of boredom..

Once again, neechan, i am sry to unable to be there when you need someone to play with.. I really regret to leave u alone in maple and make no attempt to come online there as often as possible.. May your soul will always rest in peace and may God accept you and give u a position where you really deserve..

2008-02-28T02:45:00.002+08:00

Lol, too much free time in Indo actually do makes my minds wander around.. I noe that i dun really trust my friend abt relationship things, but it seems like he is the only one i can talk to in Indo right now..

As we talked, memories sure does flow in.. Wanna noe something weird that i dug up? I juz realize i never have a "normal" relationship.. Yes! extra-ordinary, u can say.. Why? Coz it juz seems unreal.. I mean, the way we maintain our relationship, both the case with Sue and Jac, is really totally different, weird i can say.. Somehow, i really envy my friend as we exchange story.. Sure, his relationship didnt last damn long one, which cause him to change "partner" constantly, but when he is in relationship, he sure does enjoy his time.. Going out with his gf, watch movie, etc etc.. Basically, she'll be there when he needs her.. (But bastardly, he is not there when she need him -.-)

I mean, look at that.. Neither Sue nor Jac have been there when i need them.. OI! Shut up! Pathetic ur face! This is not pathetic, this is juz, um, um, PATIENCE TRAINING!! GET IT?? Lol!! I mean, who am i kid with? I always gave myself excuse saying that they are busy, that's why they cant be here.. But keep on using that reason, it really only brings my spirit further down.. Causing my mind to wander off further..

Perhaps, what Pastor Prince said abt relationship is correct.. Perhaps, I am juz not ready to get involved in this kind of big game.. But damn! i really wanted to feel the feeling.. I might be asking for too much, but i also wanted to feel loved and not only hear the word "I love you" from my partner.. Am I really that not ready yet? What have i gone wrong in doing anw? I really dun get it..

Coming back to Indo makes things worse only.. Not only i am lagged behind on my weekly goals in "advancing", I also cant do anything worth doing here.. If only not becoz of the gym session at afternoon time and my friends who came back waiting for their 1st year in poly, i think i should have bored to death..

My wish is that when i go back to sg alrd, i can find a gf that really understands me.. Asking for impossible, i noe, but there is no wrong in having a wish rite?

God, who arts in Heaven, please listen to my humble prayer..
God, i know i might not have been the best bf on my previous previous experience of relationship, but trust me, God, i really have tried my best.
I really cant find and dont know how to improve my performance anymore, but i trust You will help me..
Please God, let me experience 1 more time of the feeling that i longed to feel alrd, God..
In Jesus name, I pray, Amen..

Life in Indo

2008-02-15T09:35:00.002+08:00

I'm telling you, dont come and tell me "damn, how boring life is" coz believe me, you have not really experienced what u called BORED!!

I came back to Indonesia like 2 weeks ago (Hey! Dun blame me on not writting, I juz able to get hold to the net connection ytd -.-) due to CNY and my poly holiday.. 10 weeks, damn it.. Why they give holiday so long one??? -.- Aside from bored (coz cant play anything here), my mom still try to kill me by packing my time till it's hard to breathe.. Gym, driving lesson, music class (which i havent even try it out), and shop works.. It sounds like i have a few activity only huh? But believe me or nt, that already summarize my whole day from 9am till 6pm.. Hmm? Why so shock on the word Gym? YA!! U READ IT CORRECTLY, DUN NEED TO RUB UR EYES!! Damn, that gym thing really killing me.. I went twice, starting 2 days ago, only, and here am i, with all my muscle aching.. When i told the instructor so, he only smile at me and say "It's suppose to be that way" Lame isnt it? As i'm typing nw, all my chest and shoulder part are hurting like hell, hope these pains pays off before i went back to sg.. HAHAHAA!!!

K, that should pretty sums up everything.. And if u'll excuse me, i would like to continue "saving the world" (for those who noes what this mean, u can smile to urself now.. For those who dont, i's basically saying that i'm going to play some game.. HAHA)

Take care, cya

Shiroi Oogami
Signing out

2008-02-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

3rd of February 1:55am.. It have been 2 months and 10 days.. Fun and not fun, mixture, kinda.. It have come to end though.. We have officially break up.. She told me everything i need to know, I also told her everything i should told her also.. No matter what I do now, it will be too late already..
why will breaking up will always being so painful? Juz how many girls have i made crying? This is where i kept my memories, I hope this memory will be kept and preserve like how it deserve..

I learnt a lot of things for the past 2 months.. Not only for my skill improvement but also attitude improvement.. Lots of things to be typed out if I need to type it out.. But anw, that's more like over.. Maybe her friends are true, maybe I am just some bastard that dun recognize luck when it is in front of my eyes.. I marked a lot of places with memories, and i am pretty sure, whenever i saw those things or objects again somewhere, someday, it's gonna bring back my memories.. Both bitter and sweet one..

I,sigh, dun think that in a condition to continue writing.. A lot of things i want to record down, but, my mind are juz so jumble up that i cant think anything straight.. Gimme sometime, maybe i'll sort it out and re-write again next time..

2 months and 10 days.....time sure flies huh? Thx a lot Jac.. Really,thx.. and I'm sry...

2008-01-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

Wee... How long ago since I blog alrd.. Haha.. Anyway, seems like whenever i blog, it will only be problems huh? So, here goes..

Humans... they always like to jump to conclusion and make assumptions, but in the process they never really look on what are they doing currently.. I think this is wad really happen between me and dear currently.. I know she want to talk to me and stuff, but I also need sometime for myself rite? I mean, look, when I have time, she are busy with her project and stuff, leaving me behind bored to the core, seeking companions to chat to and stuff like that, but she is not there, is she? That is why I am back to my gaming world.. But once I enjoy it, her project start to finish up and she start complaining abt me not accompanying her.. But isnt this is how we have been all along, only with her not noticing with all her projects? So i merely act like how i act usually, and now she told me it's wrong since she is free? What if she have another trains of projects? I need survive alone again? What is this become? Survival game?

Anyway, approaching the end of sch soon alrd.. 1 more day to go, and no more school.. I am not sure whether I should feel sad or happy with this fact.. Sometimes, when I say out the words goodbye to the facis, it's like, somewhere deep down, I know this is like the last time that I will be seeing them alrd, there will be no more "see you next week" and stuff like that.. This semester facis really are a nice batch of facis that we can have.. All of them teach in a very enjoyable way.. My only regret is to skip classes back then.. Better make sure I didnt skip classes next year..

Ah well, i guess this should be all.. I am going back to Indo soon, so maybe I cant blog for sometime if I didnt manage to get net connection in Indo.. Happy CNY to u guys, ya? :D (I noe it's nt yet, but hell, what if i cant tell u guys on the day itself? -.-)

2008-01-25T02:10:00.000+08:00

Honestly, I have this feeling of uncertainty within myself.. It is as if, my pass is pulling me back..
I dunno how it can happen, but, it seems like, recently, it's juz a lot of things happen that keep reminding me of the pass.. Yeah, by saying the pass i actually mean Sue..

Okok, i know, dun need to remind me, me and her are just friends nw.. But what makes me feel all these feelings then? Is it really that i still have feeling with her? Impossible rite? I was so firm on my decision to leave her already, so firm that i can start to erase her out of my life already, slowly dissolving my feelings towards her.. But why? Why after that night after we talk, she began to appear in my mind again? I only want to cut our bonds by talking for the last time, but why now instead of cutting the bonds, ends up clinging on me instead? Maybe talking to her is a bad move after all?

God, hear my prayer, I know that i cant do this alone, God, i really need You to help me up.. Whenever I try to do something, i know i will not be able to do it right just by myself.. If it is without Your help, i know i cant achieve anything, God.. Please, lead me out of this problem.. I have faith in You, God.. I know you will help me this time.. Please..

2008-01-17T18:22:00.000+08:00

Ytd talked to Sue.. Actually wanna blog it down already, but decided to hit the sack instead of arguing with dear after she hear me talking to Sue..

Yeah, we cleared out things alrd, and I'm nw officially nt two timing or wadever already.. I realize i'm quite a fool to believe her and gave her the maple passwords that I changed, but, heck, i dun really need it anyway, so let her juz have it and do to it wadever she want then.. With or without her, my life will still goes on anyway.. But it sure is nice to be able to talk to her again, we chatted for almost 1 hour or more.. As i talked to her, somehow, i can recollect bits and pieces of memories with her.. Apparently, she is now in Australia also already.. Well, she told me that she'll kept in touch with me, but, of course, i doubt that will be happen.. Even though she say she will be online in skype, but somehow, i think this will be the last time our path will cross again.. Kinda sad, i noe, but well, that is how life goes.. Some people juz cross over your life, and then leave and gone without traces.. Some will stay and live with u there though, for example, dear.. :D

Well, for today, nth much actually happen, except for dear will come hme late again later.. Seems like she is getting busier and busier nowadays.. Guess i'll juz entertain myself by playing game as i wait for her to come back.. K then, this should be all..

Signing Out
Shiroi Oogami

2008-01-15T00:31:00.000+08:00

Haha.. It's amazing that i still can laugh at this kind of moment.. As i'm typing nw, dear are suggesting for break up.. So laughing is kinda retarded action huh?

Why u ask? I have no slight idea.. Moments ago, it is only some discussion abt "Why you never say this words to me?" and somehow it leads all the way to here.. Ok, sure, i am not the super good type of bf, but i am learning arent i?? I am really tired with all these bombardment of problem, honest.. Seems like nowadays everytime me and dear talk, it will only be about problem this and problem that.. I tried to end the problem throwing, but ends up making things a bit worse nia.. Not that as if the things is not bad alrd though.. Is love life really that tough to manage?

I really miss the old Jac that is much stronger, much independent, much reliable and etc etc
I miss the time where we are arguing on who miss who and keep arguing, the time where she try to attract attention, time where we spend time chatting, teasing each other and stuff like that.. Time where we still talk much.. Times where we are still close to each other

As i type this out, i dun really noe wad is actually going on in my head also.. I juz noe sumthing, if we are going to carry on like this, and still expecting to be in relationship, i must admit that it will be a bit impossible.. That is why exactly, i'm trying my best to solve the problem up.. But then again, like what people say, to clap a hand, u need 2 hands.. Am i the one that not cooperating? or the other way round? Of that, i dun want to give any judgment..

I juz hope that everything will turn out to be normal again.. I noe, it's like asking for moon to appear at day time (i'm not talking abt eclipse, u faggot), but i still do believe in miracle.. I juz hope that miracle help me once again this time..

2008-01-13T22:52:00.000+08:00

Wow, how long ago alrd since i last blog? haha.. Coz really nth to blog abt anw..

Things getting more and more bitter nowadays.. I swear, if this is really going to be over, i really will take some break alrd.. Juz wanna live on how i live my life previously..

Suppose to get a hard drive (the external one) today, but didnt manage to go to sim lim coz my fren got a headache.. Lol, maybe God hear my prayer and decided to let me have some more time to consider whether to get a hard drive using the money or to juz get various IT items.. Any suggestion?

Hmm.. I guess this should be all for this time ba.. I'll try to blog more often after this.. Sry to abandon u, chronicle..

2008-01-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

Lol, sry for not blogging for sometime (juz who am i saying sry to actually? -.-)

It have been sometime since i blog now huh? Yeah, coz i start to get bored of keep telling the same things of what i do everyday.. I mean, wad's so special about "waking up, go sch, do some prob, come back, play, sleep" activity? Haha..

Sigh, things have not really gone to well for me huh, i guess.. The bad flu and cough really irritates hell out of me.. Now with the sore throats.. AARRGGHH!!! Juz hope it can recover soon.. Not only that, nowadays me and dear also didnt talk much alrd.. Is it really true? that the fact is she is too busy and i am too free that's y i feel this way? No idea also.. Now to think abt it, it have been sometime since we went out together also.. -.- but well, doesnt matter.. I'll juz let nature take it's own course.. Hope things will get better between us huh? Health prob, romance life prob, u think that's all? NOOOO!! FINANCE PROB!! WHY THE HECK IS EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE NOWADAYS SO EXPENSIVE ONE?!?!? Grr.. Juz hope that i can find some cheap but good and high cap one on Sim Lim this weekend.. O_o, u think that i'm complaining abt not going out with dear while she is going with me this weekend? Noo!! Lol, she will most probably be too busy with her projects.. Juz y the heck poly burden students so much nowadays? -.- Lol..

Oh ya, abt the pics to japan one.. Sigh, i dun think i will upload it here afterall.. Too many things and too ma fan.. -.- If u wanna see, juz tell me lah, i'll keep it in my com one..

Well, guess this will be all then.. Oh ya, since i told u that i will not recorded like insane, so... I will only record things when it is important.. Chronicle of Life, do ur job well hor! Keep all these fragments well! Domo arigatou..

2008-01-06T15:28:00.000+08:00

Ah, 2 days since i last blog huh? Lol, dun worry lah, nth much happen anw..

Hmm, ytd was really fun, went to watch I Am Legend.. Nice movie, nice story line also though.. Actually by watching movie, i am killing myself.. I am having bad cough alrd, and yet i still go to watch movie.. This is basically because when i watch movie, i confirm will buy the popcorn combo one which consist of one popcorn and cold drinks.. Lemme do the math for u then: Bad cough + Regular Popcorn + Cold drinks = TOTAL KNS!! K, doesnt matter there, after committing suicide there, me and my fren went to Jo's church.. Damn, i know we will get lost there, lucky come earlier.. Manage to get to the service juz on time though.. It was so fun sia.. I think I'll start going to church again..

Ah, birthday.. Why i got a feeling that this is my worst birthday ever? Lol.. It's like, lol! since when ppl birthday lock themself in their room and not going out one? Hahaha! I dun mean to start whining again, but i guess this will be the most boring birthday ever.. 1st, dear cant make it, then thought of juz go out for movie with my fren or wad, and then ends up he went back to vietnam today.. LOL!! Thought that, nvm, still have more fren.. Contacted most of them, all busy or wad.. Lol!! To top that, seems like nt much ppl rem abt my bday also.. Lol, not like as if i want their attention or wad, but i said that juz to let u know that hw unpopular am i.. ahahah!!

Doesnt really matter, somehow, after ytd service, i have more faith in God once more.. So, God, like i have been trying to keep telling myself, i know u have a plan for this.. Idk wad's that yet, but, sure, i'll be looking forward to the surprises that You have plan for me.. It's more interesting if i dunno the plan 1st huh? Well, God, i'll juz let u work ur wonder..

Ah, anw, this is the song that i been listening all days long.. Hahaha!!

Enjoy..

Life Sux!!

2008-01-02T21:31:00.000+08:00

Stop asking me on how my days are! Lemme ans you once and for all, it sux.. Honestly, sometimes i even ask myself, what is the purpose of me continue going against all these problem? Is there something that wait for me behind all these troubles? Is there something that i hope to achieve by keep continue on? I really dun have idea.. Honestly, i have a feeling that i'll die real early.. Is that the reason why i try to enjoy my remaining time of life?

However sweet is a grape, the seed is still bitter.. No matter how much i try to keep things fine, seems like my romance life is never going to be perfect after all.. It's nt like she never told me before, but it's only till now that i feel it.. Are we starting to drift apart alrd? It even took me and Sue longer to actually meet the end of the story, and this time, things are much much better, but why izzt changing towards the bitterness so soon alrd? Am i really that noob in this matter? SUDONO!! GET UR ARSE BACK HERE!! I think i still have a real long way to perfect my skill in this aspect.. And if i'm nt perfect yet, neither do u.. Sigh, how i miss all those times where we are exchanging problems and love theories.. Also the time where we are advising each other, thinking as if we are pros in this matter.. Well, as we doing that, we are actually improving in this aspect, arent we?? WHY U LEAVE ME ALONE?? WHY?!?! (K, this sound a bit gayish alrd -.-) But seriously, I dunno who to turn to when I face all these problem now.. Suddenly, i juz feel kinda lonely.. When we face problem, we juz have each other back then.. Sigh.. Why am I suddenly digging up all the past anw? Back to the main point, like i say i can feel we are starting to drift slowly but sure.. I really hope that things will be better, but if it doesnt, lets juz see how long this "tag-of-war" things will last.. (i dun even noe wad am i talking abt nw..) Well, guess I'll blog again next time then

Shiroi Oogami
Signing Out

2008-01-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

Sigh, today is kinda boring.. Expected lah hor.. Come back from Jap and got a few more days to sch.. DAMN U RP!! JUZ OPEN UP ALRD LAH!!!

Woke up today at 9am++.. My parents went to market and bought back breakfast.. Had my breakfast and tidy up stuff.. My dad went back to Indo today, so my whole family is out to sent my father to harbour front.. Stay at hme and bored.. Played some game and watched a few eps of bleach.. talked to dear a bit also this afternoon.. *yawn* then fall asleep in front of laptop coz too tired.. when i wake up, i only realize that it is 5pm alrd.. Had my dinner ard 6-7am.. then talk to Sudono and Michelle abt my trip to japan.. Amazingly, my bro challange me into some game in warcraft today.. It is very rare to happen one.. But well, we played a few games till my mom ask him to go and sleep.. This leave me alone and fortunately, saw some ppl online in msn.. talk abt travelling, if u think i'm having nice life coz of travelling here and there, then prepare to be amazed.. Margaret juz told me that she went to like damn lots of places alrd.. like europe, us, africa, etc etc.. scary huh? Lol.. anw, guess this will be all for my post for today.. Boring huh? I still have tonnes of pics to upload here huh? I'll start uploading 2mr if i have time..

Shiroi Oogami,
Signing out

2007-12-31T20:53:00.000+08:00

So, lemme tell the summary of these 2 days then..

Ytd: Went to choc factory in morning.. It's only the name nia.. Coz cant really see how they make chocolate one.. The name of choc is shiroi koibito which literally means "white girlfriend".. Neahz, the choc maker is nt being racist here.. Wad he mean by white is the snow.. Anw, after that choc factory visit, we spent most of our time in bus again.. After that, went to some shopping outlet in Sapporo.. Had our lunch there, too bad cant sit together with the group of teenager this time, coz the table is arranged already.. As in, they only have 6 max, and we need 8, thus we juz go with it and sit with our family.. After that, went ard and window shopping ard.. the things are all so cheeeeaaapppp compare to outside pricing!!! But in the end also didnt buy anything for myself.. haha!! Then took the flight back to tokyo alrd at 5++.. Arrive at tokyo ard 7-8pm, had our dinner and head back to hotel.. We only arrive at hotel ard 9pm++.. Then we bathe and stuff, and getting ready for our sleepless night.. Ok, this part is going to be a bit confusing, as in the time thingy.. So, i'll only count the next morning 6am as morning.. Ok, so we met up ard 12am++ to start playing card.. Starting only Zhi Xuan, her sis, Isaac, Raymond, Edelyn, and my bros playing only.. Margaret fell asleep already.. Haha!! She should join us play.. Very fun sia.. We played for sometimes and the Jolene (Isaac's sister) come down and join us also.. We continue playing till ard 3am and then Edelyn, Zhi Xuan and her sis decided to went back to their room and had some rest.. So it's all boys left downstairs in lobby there.. hahaha!! Continue on playing.. We played poker, blackjacks and lots more card games.. And like wad i said juz nw, we didnt sleep for whole nite.. Once the clock strike 5am, all of our eyes getting super heavy alrd, so we decided to head for gym, hoping and wishing that some excersice will actually keep our eyes open.. In the end, instead of waking up, my bro and Isaac fall asleep on the massaging chair.. HAHAHA! me and raymond continue talking abt sch stuff and stuff like that.. we talk all the way till 6am++ and then we decided to head back for bath and then breakfast..

Today: LOL!! All the non-sleeper is having big trouble at morning time.. We are walking like zombie, and once we found sofa or seats or wadever, we will take the advantage and juz lie down and close our eyes, even though for juz one minute.. Doesnt really matter actually, coz we spent the whole flight by sleeping.. We only arrive at sg ard 5pm++.. Took up luggage and we, the teenager, took a picture, thx to jo's idea.. She told me and i juz go ard and asking the rest dun go after they claim the baggage.. So, yeah, we took a few pics.. After that, the part that i hate most came: Saying goodbye.. Well, it have been 1 dreamy week, and every dream will come to and end.. This is the end.. No more cold air, no more snow, no more running ard and throwing snowballs anymore, No more cracking jokes, no more etc etc.. But well, i manage to get everyone's hp num and msn, so this fragment of dreams will still be there afterall..

Well, doesnt matter, even though the tour is over, the fun part will still be recorded here and the friendships build will still last.. Thx a lot guys for making this tour damn fun and enjoyable for me.. Hope our paths in going group to somewhere else will cross again one day..

Anw, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! WISH U GUYS GETS BETTER ON WAD U ARE GOOD ON ALRD NW.. :D

2007-12-29T19:59:00.000+08:00

K, summary of today..

Spent most of the time in bus, nothing much, practically almost whole morning were spent on watching the white stuffs a.k.a snow from the bus.. Didnt involve much conversation in bus also this whole morning.. Stuff only get better during lunch time, we actually went to "horse ranch" to have lunch.. LOL!! neahz, nt really horse ranch, it`s juz they have a lot of horse fat product.. THEY EVEN MAKE SWEET OUT OF THE FATS!! WTF?!?! Well, tried one of the sweet, it`s actually nt that bad.. Mint in taste.. Continue on, we actually spent another 2hr++ on bus, Slight conversation happen.. Isaac actually show me some card tricks.. Made me feel that i should juz join the Magic IG -.- Arrived at Sapporo only at 3pm.. Went to some shopping arcade bought stuff and stuff like that.. Sigh, u noe, mom... -.- Had BBQ for dinner.. Tried out Kobe beef!! DAMN SOFT!! Nice sia.. Well, after that continue to hotel, which is here.. Plan to play poker with my fellow teenager later at 10pm.. So afterall, this time tour wont be as dull as the previous one.. Thx God for granting me these few wishes that i made during this trip.. I wish dear also can get over her financial crisis also.. Hope God will also help me by granting me this 1 very wish..

Anw, yeah, as u can see I didnt bold much words today, that only means that not much pics been taken today.. Well, a few more days to go back to sg only anw.. grr... HOT SUN AND SCHOOL!! 2 THINGS THAT I HATE MOST.. Damn the reality.. Well, k, i think i sign out 1st nw.. Wanted to explore this hotel with Isaac, cya..

4th day: japan

2007-12-28T19:46:00.000+08:00

Damn, i gotta pay for this com usage and it`s lagging badly summore.. Fark the cheapskate japanese!!

Anw, record more, complain less

K, i woke up at 2:30am this morning.. Cant sleep anymore after that.. The wake up call is only at 6am.. So practically i need to "survive" for 3++hrs.. Ends up going to 7-11 to get instant noodle and some drinks.. Surviving by watching some music videos in japan`s channel..

Most of our day is spent on bus journey today.. Went to see some waterfall.. I dun really noe hw the water didnt freeze when it`s like 0 degree or even less out there.. Well, all that matters is I can play some snow.. Went to have lunch.. It`s japanese style food again.. This time, it's more simpler.. By now, i had learnt that if they serve rice and miso soup, juz mix both of them together.. They will taste nicer and it`s also a sign of respect to eat that way.. AND GUESS WAD!! I MANAGE TO UNITE ALL THE TEENS TOGETHER ALRD!! this means that no more boring journey for the rest of the days.. Had lunch together juz nw.. Too bad cant had the dinner together since we eat at diff timing.. Made fren to another new girl again juz nw.. Older than me by 1 year old.. Her name is Jolene.. Well, after lunch, we spent our time exchanging stories abt our school,　fav music and etc etc.. I also manage to crack some lame jokes when it gets boring during the journey.. Continue on, we went to see some fox ranch.. Cant touch the fox, also tough to get the pics.. But, well, i manage to snap some of their pics though.. Another 1-2hrs journey and we went to one lake(forgot the name alrd) to take some pics.. Damn chilly out there.. We also went to see some swan that by chance juz migrate to japan ard this time of year.. After that, we are back to hotel again.. Had our dinner.. It`s a all-u-can-eat type.. So, as usual, i tried to make the hotel bankrupt, but dun think i succeed juz nw though.. Well, anw, wad i plan nw is to ask them(the grp of teenager) to play some cards till the late of night if i met them again, later, or 2mr.. Better late than never.. Well, 4th day in Japan.. Signing out..

3rd day: Japan

2007-12-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

YAY!! Another hotel with com!! K, lemme sumarize my whole day activity again

Today: Wake up late, been scold by parents coz cant even wake up with alarm properly.. Went to see some bears in some bear ranch.. Lemme tell u, i think they have been train real well.. They can caught flying biscuit that we throw from more than 2m++.. Continue on, we visited some mountain.. Then we went for lunch.. Lemme tell u, it`s damn nice.. Went to sake factory.. They show us how to make sake and they even let us try some example of the best sake that they produce!! ("I am 21 years old!! Believe me!! LEMME TASTE THE DAMN SAKE U DAMN JAPANESE!!!) LOL!! Yeah, tasted the sake, of course i dun really need to shout all those things, coz i juz need to reach out and they thought i am "ok" to taste sake alrd.. HAHAHA!! dumb sia.. Went for 2 hr journey to a place called ramen village.. Dont worry, didnt have any ramen there.. damn.. Damn? Neahz, continue read on.. :D went to some massive snow land for people to play ski and sledging.. Since skiing will be quite tough for beginner (yeah, fine, i admit, i dun even noe hw to ski -.-) most of us (YES!! MOST OF US!! MEANS NOT ONLY ME THAT DUN NOE HW TO SKI!!) choose to play sledge.. made some friends here.. Isaac, Margaret (the girl that i told u ytd, dear), and Raymon, her bro.. Played for 2hr++.. Lol, by the time we done playing, we are damn exhausted and DAMN COLD.. Rem i told u we didnt had ramen on ramen village? Now, it`s time for u to feel disappointed.. We had ramen for our DINNER in a restaurant near to our hotel.. Manage to chat with Margaret and Raymon, since we are in the same table.. Haha.. Came back from there, we shop abit, and head back to hotel.. So, that will be my activity for today.. Hope can noe my new friends better and not like the incident when we went to japan 2 years ago ( we only noe each other on the last day -.- wtf??) Well, if i saw a hotel with com again, i`ll make sure i update this blog again then.. Take care guys..

2007-12-26T21:18:00.000+08:00

LOL!! Manage to actually find a com in Japan.. Well, lemme juz record down these 2 days activity then

1st day (ytd): Most of my time is spent on flight.. Watched Bourne Ultimatun on board, sleep, had my lunch, sleep again, had ice cream, sleep again.. So, have some pictures on wad is called boring?? LOL.. When I arrived at my final destination (chitose), IT SNOW!!! COOL!! Lol, thought i`d never see snow in christmas.. haha.. Well, it snow quite heavily in fact.. Well, k, fine then, that made up for the boredom in flight.. Nth much happen that day alrd

2nd day (today,duh -.-): FUN!! Went to Ainu village tribe in japanese), damn, they sure have some scary tradition.. Anw, cont to a place called Hell Valey.. I`ll upload some pics when i arrive in Singapore.. Had our lunch in some seafood place.. The seafood is REALLY REALLY nice!! I juz cant stop eating this afternoon.. Continue on, we went to play some snow mobile.. I actually been given permission to ride alone.. And again, it sure is damn fun.. Not to mention it also lighten both my parents and my wallet greatly.. -.- then, i saw the sky darken.. I thought "WTF? PLAYED FOR ALMOST 4-5 hrs??" coz we play the snow mobile from 2++, but when i look at the watch, it`s only 4++.. LOL!! how come?? Lemme explain then, coz it`s winter here, so.................... hahahaha!! Cool eh? Arrive at hotel ard 5.30++ and changed to yukata (something like kimono -.-) dad took damn lot of me and my bro`s pic.. Had our dinner in japanese style (u noe, like the japan hour type one) then when i came out of the dining hall, that is when i saw this damn com and decided to record down my journey..

Well, juz cant wait to see 2mr.. HAHA!! According to the guide, 2mr we will encounter some activities that involve snow.. Not to mention, we might be having crab as our meals AGAIN!!! WOW!!! HAHAHA!! Juz cant be patient enough alrd..

Missing dear also T_T, guess she wont view my blogs these few days too anw

PS: -I`ll upload all the pics that i took when i arrive in sg
-DEAR!! JAC IS NOT WITH ME!! MY MOM TOOK IT OUT OF THE LUGGAGE LAST
MINUTE!!! -.- AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

2007-12-25T05:09:00.000+08:00

Wow, manage to actually blog before going to Japan.. HAHA!! Anyway, 1st of all, let me wish u guys all Merry X'Mas.. Enjoy today k?

Well, in a few more hour, i'll practically will be on plane and on my way to Japan.. Weew, wake up at ard 4-5am juz now.. Juz bathe finish, getting ready to have breakfast and hail cab later on.. Anw, dear, ends up i'll bring jac along to japan.. Haha, how's ytd anw? Having fun countdown? Well, k, i think i gotta go now.. Time is running short, i need to arrive in airport by 645am.. Cya guys, enjoy ur holiday!! :D

2007-12-24T20:33:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah!! A few more hour and i'll spend 10++ hr on plane to my destination: Japan alrd.. LOL!
Damn, cant afford to wake up late 2mr -.-

Anw, lets recall wad happen today

Wake up at 8.45am++, took my breakfast, do some crap, stuff like that.. Msg dear in the morning, lol, busy as usual.. Haha! By the time i leave the hse, it's alrd ard 11pm++.. Went to my fren's hse then went to orchard again to surrender my handphone for repair.. Damn, i'm going to be broke on next year -.- Done with it ard 1++ and went to have lunch.. I GOTTA WARN YOU!! DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT buy the ban mien in Koufu.. it SUX!!! Anw, went for some "Outrun" game.. Damn, my drifting skill is really deproving.. Cant even drift properly nw.. Lol, doesnt matter, soon, i'll master it back.. HAHAHA!! Went back to Bishan ard 4pm, play some game, and had my dinner.. Soon after that, start packing up my things for 2mr.. Grr, need to wake up at 4am 2mr... SIAO!!!

Anw, i noe i didnt mention abt dear so much for this post, but well, we also didnt talk much for today.. She's either busy, bathing or doing project when i msg her.. Well, as i type this blog, i'm pretty sure that she should be enjoying her time with her friends waiting for countdown to christmas (Since when christmas got countdown one? i mean, usually ppl go for new year one mah) Anw, doesnt matter, cant msg her also, since my bloody damn phone is in the service center.. Well, guess this be all ba.. Well, i wont be blogging for a few days now then.. Cya next after i come back then..

PS: Anw, can anyone help me on how to make songs to be blog background? Thx anw

2007-12-23T20:40:00.000+08:00

Juz done testing out my whole complete set of winter clothings.. Excited, indeed, but i'm quite surprise that not even a smile was formed on my face.. Dunno wad happen to me, but i'm kinda in "bad" mood for this whole day now.. I've been asking myself wad causes it, and i cant seems to find the reason.. Or is it? K, fine, yeah, maybe everything is because yesterday, but i have been trying to tell myself that i'm the one that think too much.. K, honestly, my point of having girlfriend or in relationship, is because, i want someone to be there for me, i know this is kinda selfish things to say, but that's the truth isn't it? Well, ytd i was kinda in need of her, but where is she? Having some fun with some other guy? Yes, yes, i didnt blame her on that, i mean, that's her friend, cant she have some private time with her friends? But, i mean, i tried to msg her and stuff, but did she even reply? I mean, how hard izzt to juz tell me that "Sry, i'm with my friend, can we talk later?" Sure, i will feel a bit.........dunno how to say it also, lol.. But at least i noe a bit on what is she doing and wad's her reason rite? But she didnt even bother on replying.. Then wad's the real point of having relationship if someone who we need most is not there for us when we need them? Sigh, like i say, this might be me thinking too much only..

Anw, for today, went out ard 8.30 am to go and have my handphone fix, but ends up playing rakion in my friend hse as i wait for him to wake up.. Start our journey only at 11-12pm++, had our lunch at koufu in TPY central.. Meanwhile, dear is at school, doing her project.. She must be having some hard time also coping up with her studies and our relationship.. How i know? I juz know it.. haha.. Well, me and my friend continue on our journey to orchard.. Found the sony centre and took the number.. when i ask how long will the service took, i was like "WTF?? 27th THEN I CAN COLLECT MY PHONE??" since i figure i still need my phone, i decided i'll go back to the center the next day, since i also will be going to japan 2 more days.. went back to TPY, played some arcade games, talk some cocks, feel bored, decided on watching movie.. Movie start at ard 1615hrs.. and it's only 2++pm only that time, so we head back to my friend's hse for a while, and then head back again ard 4++.. Watched National Treasure: Book of Secrets.. Thrilling, lack of action though, no gunfight, no exchanging of blows, might sounds boring, but it's actually damn nice.. Went back after that.. Once i arrived at hme, i was greeted with loud blast of my mom's shout.. When i juz thought that my mood is lifted by a bit, nw i found myself in "du lan" mood again.. Didnt even want to have my dinner anymore.. Took a bath after that, and then clean up my table and desk before my mom start to "bombard" me with some of her "impossible to win" arguement.. After that, chat with my dad a bit and try out all the winter clothings.. So basically, i've been talking for my whole day activities then.. Hey, chronicle, u really should keep things up for me k? I might be forgetting all these things one day, but i hope when i read up ur contents again, i can remember about how i feel currently and stuff like that k? Thx anw..

2007-12-22T16:13:00.000+08:00

So, it's Saturday already.. Miraculously i actually survive the whole holiday week, i thought i will die rotting coz i spent my 1st and 2nd day watching all the movie i have in my hard disk, well, here am i, still alive.. Lol.. Today woke up at 6:30 am, coz dear ask me to wake her up ard that time so that we can chat online, but ends up she too lazy to get off from bed, so we chat through phone.. It sure is fun to be able to chat with dear again, coz nowadays seems like she is kinda busy due to her project, cant blame her though, studies suppose to come 1st anw rite? Chatted for ard 15 mins, then dear said some one is up in her hse liao and she hung up.. Well, it's nt like we didnt cont chat though, we continue to chat in msn, till ard 8++ when she told me she wont go to her grandma's hse, so she want to go back to sleep.. Oh, my best friend also told me that he had some prob abt the sch matters.. Sigh, dude, u should juz be calm and try to find out what is ur interest in and apply for it ba.. So, anw, while dear asleep, i download up the remaining volume of Suzuka, done with downloading, finish up reading it.. DAMN!! U guys should really try reading it also.. It's nice sia.. Had my breakfast ard 10am, and once i done reading the Suzuka, i wake dear up, coz she need to go to sch to do project.. Today have been quiet boring day actually, coz i ends up playing warcraft with my brother again.. Well, i play for quite some time till 3++ then dear told me she's having lunch.. That doesnt mean we can chat much yet though, she's going to church later on.. Well, wadever it is, as long as we can talk at least once per day is good enuff alrd ba.. ^_^ 3 more days for me, then i'm off for my 1 week holiday.. hahaha!

I thought Friday suppose to be fun??

2007-12-21T17:21:00.000+08:00

Cant seems to remember what time i woke up this morning, but 1 thing that i remember is once i woke up, my youngest bro shove the whole chess set in front of me asking me to have a match with him.. I was like "wth? cant u wait?" Ends up didn't even have a match with him coz he was busy playing com games.. Dear juz done breakfast when i msg her this morning, then we chat for a while before she need to go for her work in teaching private tuition.. Lol! She told me on how her student didnt do the work that she assign him.. Kinda remind me of myself back when i'm sec 3-4 time.. Haha! While she gone, have some games against my youngest bro in warcraft.. Then my mom keep asking me go to tailor to mend up some pants.. Damn frustrated when i cant find the place, after some time of walking, then i found it.. When i found it, i was like "Wtf?? it's juz around the corner of 7-11 and i was walking 1 whole big round??? -.-" Well, whatever it is, it's done.. Lol.. Had my lunch once i arrive home, and after that, my family went out to do some administration thing for out tour trip, leaving me alone at home.. Not that they abandon me, but i juz feel lazy to join them.. -.- Feel bored, so i go cook noodle, and watch disney channel.. Kim Possible was on play and OMG!! KIM AND RON ARE TOGETHER?? Damn! gotta watch Kim Possible more often alrd -.- Well, after watching it, remembered haven't done the blog for today, so here i am, writing all this crap.. (It start to gave me a feeling that this is a homework for me -.- and Damn, i didnt even do RJ as obediently as this) Well, i think after this, i'll juz go play some dota game.. Till my next post then..

New day, new life

2007-12-20T13:57:00.000+08:00

Wake up at ard 10am juz now, wondering wad am i going to do for today.. Lol.. Do u actually need to think what u going to do for today? Decided to start the day by "bullying" some AI in Dota.. Keep randoming and finally get some good hero and start "bullying".. Msg dear and she told me she went out with her mom for today, so i guess today i wont be talking much to her also since she wont be able to msg with her mom around.. After my games, i start to wonder ard the house like a freaking hungry ghost looking for food.. Hey! It's freaking 12pm++ and lunch not ready yet, wad u expect?? LUCKILY, found my share of breakfast and within minutes, it's all in my stomach alrd.. Lol.. After that "light" brunch, i'm wondering of what to do again.. Almost start playing fiesta online, but juz before i login, i decided to play around with my blog skin codes.. Made some changes on the "black mage" skins, thought it's good alrd, but when i priview this rinoa skin, i decided that this is better, so i spend another few minutes in editting this up.. haha.. Mom's arriving at hme soon.. Cant wait to see my winter wear that she gonna bring.. Gloves and stuff.. Damn, hope that it'll look nice.. haha.. Well, this is only half day, if there is new interesting happen on the other half of the day, then i'll post it up again.. Gotta clean up my table before my mom start nagging and scolding me -.-

Editted

2007-12-19T18:22:00.000+08:00

Finally! Honestly, the things that held me back all along from making blog is this template thingy.. Lol! Well, till a few minutes later, my blog is still all plain looking, but thx to dear, it looks much much better now, isnt it? haha!! When u read this, most probably u'll see tag box is up and some music will be on background alrd, but actually, when i'm typing this blog, neither tagbox, nor does the the music is up yet.. Decided to find out more about it later after dear come back from work.. Haha.. Well, after all, i successfully move my blog from friendster to blogger.com then.. hahaha!

Moved!!

2007-12-19T10:37:00.000+08:00

Yeah, so finally I moved my blog from friendster to here at last.. K, for now, my design is still damn plain, not like much people will read this blog anyway.. I've decided to post at least one post every one or two days.. So like wad my title say, this will be my chronicle of life..

Sigh, haven't been writing blog for sometimes now.. Too many things to say but dunno where to start.. LOL! Lemme ask u sumthing, do you think a two timer is really an asshole regardless of whatever the reason is? I used to think so too.. K, fine, initially i didn't think so, but after i understand, i changed my mind.. -.- So tell me, u think they are assholes? Well, if u think so, means i am one of the assholes then.. Lol, but WAIT!! It's not entirely my fault rite?? Sue have gone missing for like wad? Almost 1 whole months? I also need some attention rite? (Yeah, my parents do give me attention, too much attention perhaps till i everyday kana scold.. wth -.-)
Well, my point is, when Sue is missing, i actually found new girlfriend.. Now, am i a two timer? If you say yes, then isn't it Sue's fault for going missing for like 1 whole month now? If you say no, then why? I mean, i havent really settle things with Sue rite?

Argh, whatever it is, whenever i see Sue again in future, my 1st topic to talk about with her will be about us breaking up.. Lately i began to think that this is getting abit unfair to Jac (my new gf that i mention above), i mean, i can go ard feeling jealous when she is talking to other guy, whereas i am actually still in relationship with Sue? Worse type of asshole huh? Haha.. Well, things have been wavy between me and Jac anw.. But isnt it better than one plain life -.-

Well, i dunno wad else to write ba.. This should be good enuff for starter.. Haha.. Anw, well, like i say, i'l post it every 1-2 days, so it will accumulate up one.. dun worry :D

PS: Dear, i made the account and even start posting alrd hor.. Ur job to design it.. :D